


I Can Love You More Than This

by ElenaHarris



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Requited Love, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 22:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1582376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElenaHarris/pseuds/ElenaHarris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry may be desperately in love with Louis, but Louis seems completely oblivious. Is there any chance that they could work out, or is Harry doomed to spend (what feels like) eternity locked behind bathroom doors?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> I wrote this a little while ago so apologies in advance if I've missed tags/characters/etc at all! 
> 
> Elena

Harry’s POV:

I could see him across the room, messing around with Liam. And I didn’t know why, but I could feel a tight clenching in his lower stomach as the other boy jumped on Liam’s back, pretending to be Woody on Bullseye. Actually, that was a lie. I knew exactly why I felt that way. I was just in denial. I sighed and shuffled past the two boys, head bent down so neither could see the hurt on my face and the tears threatening to spill, and locked myself in the bathroom.

Behind the safety of the solid door I sunk down onto the floor and began sobbing silently. I’d never meant to fall in love with my best friend, but there was something about him that made it nearly impossible to tear your eyes away from him once you’d begun looking. Unrequited love was always hard, but when you had to spend every waking moment, and many sleeping moments for that matter, with the person you loved, it was utterly heartbreaking. Deep in despair, I turned to my only solace: music.

“I’m broken, can you hear me? I’m blinded, ‘cause you are everything I see. I’m dancing, alone. I’m praying, that your heart will just turn around…” I sung quietly to myself until I heard a gentle knock on the door. I ignored it, knowing instinctually that it was the very last person that I wanted to talk to.

“Hazza? Harry its Louis. please, open the door.”

My breath hitched at the sound of his beautiful voice, but I otherwise continue to ignore him in the hope that he’d go away and begun to hum the next few lines of their song, until I could no longer hold a tune through his tears.

“Harry I’m begging you! Let me in, mate. What’s wrong?” He sounded so concerned. I didn’t understand why. Surely he didn’t care about him that much. Nobody did, with the exception of his mum and Gemma. He’d give up soon. Surely.

Suddenly, I heard Louis take something from his pocket and use it to turn the other side of lock. I’d forgotten they both knew how to open that lock with the right sized coin. Damn. What was I going to do now?

The door slid open and I could see Louis’ TOMS but didn’t dare to look up. I really can’t bare people seeing me crying - which was ironic really, seeing as I’d cried on their documentary in front of God knows how many people.

 

Louis’ POV:

I’d slid off Liam’s back as Harry left the room, my eyes following the evidently distraught boy to the bathroom. I stood outside the door and heard the most beautiful voice singing ‘More Than This’ quietly to himself. I could hear the upset in the younger boy’s voice, and knocked gently on the door that was separating me from Harry.

I didn’t know exactly when I’d realised that I loved Harry. It’d been a while and since then I’d, perhaps wrongly, exploited Larry Stylinson in order to get close to the boy, using every opportunity possible. I couldn’t tell Harry – I knew that he wouldn’t feel the same and that it’d ruin their friendship, and I couldn’t stand that. But I had noticed Harry distancing himself from me recently, and hated it. I needed to know if I’d done something to upset the boy I irrevocably loved.

“Hazza? Harry its Louis. please, open the door.”

The singing abruptly stopped and was replaced by a gentle hum, which in turn gave over to heartbreaking sobs. I couldn’t stand this, I needed to help him.

“Harry I’m begging you! Let me in, mate. What’s wrong?”

_‘Come on Harry, open the door. I need to wrap my arms around you and tell you it’ll be ok.’_

Then I had an idea. About a month ago he and Harry had worked out how to open the bathroom door’s lock with a two pence piece. “In case of emergency” Harry had said. Well, I reckoned that this counted as an emergency. I reached deep inside the pocket of my chinos and pulled a coin out before trying it in the lock. It slid open.

 _‘yes!’_ I screamed inside my head.

I gently pushed the door open and gasped at the sight of my broken friend, curled up in a corner of the room. I silently shut the door behind it and locked it again so they wouldn’t be disturbed. I took a tentative step forward, before crouching down a ruler’s length away from Harry and reaching out to touch his chin. I felt the younger boy gasp as he did so, and lifted his face up so that Harry had to look at him. I took a second to take in the lines that the still-falling tears had left on his angelic face, before pulling him into a tight hug.

“Right Harry, talk to me. What’s happened that’s made my little Hazza so upset?”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry Louis.” Now he knew something was up. Harry very rarely called him by his actual name.

“C’mon Haz. You know you can talk to me. I won’t tell anyone. What’s this all about?”

I felt him stiffen in my arms and pull away. He looked me straight in my eye with a desperate stare for a fraction of second, before he seems to shake himself out of a trance and his gaze hardened and turned cold, distant and even slightly angry. Was this to do with me?

 

 

Harry’s POV:

I couldn’t tell him. But I couldn’t lie to him either. It was impossible to lie to him, which is exactly why id been avoiding him. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I pulled away from his embrace and took one last look into his eye. I felt myself falling away shook my head in an attempt to regain control of my emotions. I blocked him out and felt my eyes glaze over as I attempted to push every emotion I felt for his boy out of my head. I carefully stood up and walked around Louis to the door, opening it and making to leave. And walking straight into Liam. He groaned. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?

I heard Louis stand up behind me and turn to face me. He walked towards me until I could feel uneven breaths on my ear. He whispered to me. He whispered the very words I had been hoping he wouldn’t.

“It’s me isn’t it? What did I do? Ill fix it, Harry, just give me the chance. Don’t walk away from me. Please.”

_No! No Louis just leave it. Leave me alone. I can’t stand this. I can’t stand you breathing in my ear because it’s making my heart race. I can’t turn around and see that I’ve hurt you because I don’t want to hurt you. But you’re hurting me! Can’t you see that you beautiful, gorgeous, loving, incredible boy? Do you really not have a clue? I love you, Louis. I fucking love you and there’s nothing I can do about it!_

I squeezed my eyes shut and stopped the manic thoughts racing through my brain. I sighed and brushed past Liam. Surprisingly, he let me go. I pushed past Zayn and Niall as they stood in the hallway and left. I just walked away.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Harry’s POV:

I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and put my earphones in, putting on Ed’s album to distract me. I walked for a while before I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around and pulled out my earphones as I realised it was a girl of about 15 or 16 who was smiling at me in disbelief. A fan. Well, she was alone and not screaming. Having a chat couldn’t hurt.

“Morning, Styles!” she greeted me brightly. Despite myself, I chucked.

“Hey there! What’s your name?”

“Lucy. Why’d you decide it was a good idea to walk through London making absolutely no attempt to hide your famous curls? I mean, no offence, but id credited you with slightly more sense than that!” she chuckled. I decided I quite liked Lucy. She was funny.

“If I’m honest Lucy, I didn’t really plan to go out. It just kind of happened.”

She took a second to take a good look at me, realisation dawning on her face.

“Have you, have you been crying? I mean, you don’t have to tell me. I’m just another fan, right? But you shouldn’t be upset Harry. Where’s Louis?”

His name was all it took. I took refuge on a nearby wall and I tried to push back the tears that were threatening to fall. Lucy sat next to me, putting her arm around me comfortingly.

“No, you’re not just another fan. Just another fan would scream in my face, demand a picture and then leave. Well most of them. But every so often you come across a fan that genuinely cares about us. They’re the ones we like the most. Fans like you. And err, in answer to your questions? Yes, I’ve been crying and Louis’ at home. I kind of walked out on him and the rest of the boys.”

“Trouble in paradise, eh?” she said with a wink, making me laugh.

“You can tell me, you know. I read somewhere that it helps to tell a stranger because there aren’t any consequences. Although I suppose I your case most people would head straight for twitter or tumblr. I wouldn’t though. I don’t think that’s fair when people do that. Fan girls have no right to know every detail of your life.”

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Yes, Harry. Come on then. What’s up, Curly?”

“I think I’m in love with Louis. Like properly head over heels in love. And they’ve noticed that I’ve been different recently. I’ve distanced myself from him. And then, and then he just asked me what was wrong and I didn’t, I didn’t know what to do. So I Just left. He begged me not to, Lucy. And I walked away from him.

It’s me isn’t it? What did I do? I’ll fix it, Harry, just give me the chance. Don’t walk away from me. Please.”

I whispered the last part in remembrance, but I know she heard me.

“I knew there was a reason for the recent lack of Larry in interviews and stuff. Do you really think he doesn’t feel anything for you? Have you not seen the way he looks at you? He doesn’t look at Liam like that, does he? Or Niall? Or Zayn?” She reasoned with me, texting someone. She had the same phone as me. Then I noticed the phone-shaped bulge in her left jean pocket. Or she just had my phone.

“Lucy what are you doing with my phone?”

“You’ll see.”

“Please don’t say you’re texting Louis?”

“No I’m not. Don’t worry, Curly.”

“Thank God. I was worried for a second there. What did you do then?” I said as she handed me my phone back.

“I said you’ll see, didn’t I? Trust me, Styles.”

And I did, because for the first time I felt some hope that maybe my love for Louis wasn’t quite as unrequited as id first though. And that was down to her.

A figure rounded the corner, wearing a hood as he approached us. He shook Lucy’s hand before speaking.

“Lucy, right?” Lucy nodded in reply and I gasped.

“Liam?”

“Hey Hazza.” He greeted me kindly.

“I’ve got to go boys. I’ve left my number on your phone, Harry. Text me or call me if you need someone to talk to.” She kissed both of us on cheek and, with a smile and a wave, she was gone.

“She was nice.” Liam ventured, wary of me.

“Yeh. And she’s not going to tell anyone anything.” I murmured.

“You told her? And not Lou? Well now I’m certain it’s about him.”

“Fine! It’s about Louis! Will you just leave me alone now?”

“No.” He frowned. Taking hold of me by my shoulders, he looked at me. Then he pulled a beanie out of his pocket.

“Here, put this on. Your curls are too distinctive. And sit down and talk to me.”

“You won’t be able to look at me. Once I’ve told you, I mean. You’ll hate me. You all will. Especially Louis. I’ll have to leave the band. And London. And, and, and...”

“Harry!” He interrupted my sobbing. “Will you just get a grip, for God’s sake? No one is going to hate you. No one could ever hate you. Harry, Louis is currently lying on his bed sobbing his heart out because he honestly thinks he’s done something to make you hate him. He didn’t though, did he? I know you, Harry, and I’ve seen the looks you give him for that split-second you occasionally loose control. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

_No. Say no, Harry. Deny it for fucks sake whilst you still can. Don’t just look at him in shock, that’ll just confirm it. And whatever you do Styles, you idiot, don’t say…_

“Yes. I am Liam. And I’m so, so scared.”

_Well done, Harry. Honestly, your secret-keeping skills are second to none._

“Well that much is obvious. Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it? And I’m still here, aren’t I? I definitely don’t hate you. Come on, let’s go back.”

I allowed Liam to lead me Home, all the while wondering what had made me tell him. He was right though. He didn’t seem to hate me. Maybe I wasn’t entirely alone.

We came back through the front door and I ripped the beanie from my curls. Liam sat me down next to Niall, who smiled at me reassuringly, a smile that I somehow managed to return. I pulled out my phone and sent Lucy a message.

            _Harry Styles:_

_Thank you for earlier. I told Liam. Well, actually I think he already knew. But he’s gone to get Louis now, and I don’t know what to say to him. Xx_

_Lucy Marshall:_

_That’s ok Harry. Just be yourself. That’s all that matters. It’ll be ok, I promise you. Call me later? Tell me how it goes? Xx_

_Harry Styles:_

_Will do. Thanks again. Xx_

I looked up from my phone as the door edged open. There he was: the love of my life. His face was red and wet from his tears and his face was contorted in emotional pain as we made eye contact. I looked at him, confused as to why he was crying until I remembered Liam’s words to me not 10 minutes earlier: _Harry, Louis is currently lying on his bed sobbing his heart out because he honestly thinks he’s done something to make you hate him._  

Of course, It was his fault. Wasn’t it always?

“Harry?” Louis choked as he stood up. “Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, hurry! Don’t hate me! Please don’t hate me!” He sobbed as he collapsed into my arms. I barely noticed Liam ushering Zayn and Niall from the room as I wrapped my arms around the sobbing boy.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry’s POV:  
“I don’t hate you.” I whispered in his ear, “Don’t you see, Lou? I could never hate you. I- ”   
“I love you Harry.” Louis interrupted, literally stealing the words from my mouth. “I know I’ve always said it a lot and you’d always laugh and say: “I love you too, Boo Bear” but you never really meant it, not in the way I do.” I could barely speak as Louis pulled away slightly so we were looking each other straight in the eye as he finished, “I’m in love with you, Harry. Completely and utterly. And that’s why I couldn’t stand it that you were pulling yourself away from me. But now, now you probably feel sick because I have an overwhelming need right now to just kiss you and I know you’d never feel the same way about me. Why would you? I’m just me. And I’ve probably just ruined out friendship and that’s why I never wanted to tell you and I just hoped that this love-sick feeling would go away. But it won’t leave me alone. I’m so scared, mate. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do.”  
I couldn’t believe it. He loved me and he wanted to kiss me just as I wanted to kiss him. I broke out into a wide grin as I realised that my love wasn’t unrequited after all, and that Lucy had been right all along. The fans had known it was a mutual love before they had. And Louis still didn’t know which was why he was confused by Harry’s smile. That was why he assumed he’d ruined their friendship. That was why he was walking away from him, his body racking in sobs. He was walking away from him.  
No.  
Not again.  
“Lou!”  
Louis turned to face me. He looked defeated. I closed the gap between us.

Louis’ POV:  
As he leant in, he closed his eyes. Mine were wide open and I was extremely confused. His lips brushed mine and his hands found my hair as he kissed me. I couldn’t believe this was happening. The boy I loved was kissing me. Figuring he’d quickly regret this, turn and run, I decided to savour it whilst it lasted and returned the kiss. Harry ran his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for entry. I let him in and he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his slim waist. There was no battle for dominance; instead a beautiful dance took place between our tongues. All too soon, Harry smiled into the kiss and pulled away, keeping his arms around my neck, just as I kept mine around his waist.  
“In case that wasn’t clear enough for you, you silly insecure boy, I love you too. That’s why I’ve been distant recently, I didn’t want you to know and I couldn’t control myself around you. God I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He said the last sentence to himself, smiling. I found myself smiling with him. He loved me too. He said it, he loved me too. This was incredible.  
Harry’s phone buzzed in his pocket. It was ringing. Keeping one hand buried in my hair, and not breaking eye contact for a second, he reached inside his pocket, checked the caller ID and answered the phone.  
“Lucy?   
Incredible, in a word. Better than I ever could have imagined. You give wonderful advice, by the way. Yer, I am. No I can talk. Where did you have to go earlier anyhow, babe? To see who?”  
He suddenly broke away. He turned his back on me and hollered into his phone. His mood had changed in a millisecond. As he spun around in frustration I could practically see the thunderstorms in his eyes and, frankly, it scared me.  
“What?!? I thought you were just... No I won’t calm down! Why didn’t you tell me? You just let me tell you everything. Absolutely everything. Before I’d told anyone else, even Liam. I was an emotional wreck and you took advantage of that. How could you? I bloody trusted you, Lucy. Couldn’t we have told him, when we were ready? We’re not even together yet for God’s sake. We haven’t had a chance to talk. Have you any idea how awkward you’ve made things. The boys don’t even know yet. I don’t care if he’s your Uncle. I- ”  
Uncle. Uncle. I knew the name Lucy sounded familiar. Simon had a niece called Lucy. He spoke about her sometimes, but they’d never seen her. It couldn’t be the same person, could it? And what did Harry mean everything? Did he, he couldn’t mean about me and him, could he? No. So Simon knew?   
“Fine, you can come over. Don’t expect tea and biscuits though. Bye Lucy.”  
Harry hung up and threw his onto the sofa. He turned back to me, his eyes wary as he realised what he’d said and he saw the comprehension in my eyes.  
“Simon knows about, about us? About this?” I whispered. He nodded sadly.  
“I’m so sorry, Lou. I didn’t know. I should’ve made the link. She even looks a bit like him. I can’t believe it.” He sounded utterly defeated. I pulled him into an embrace: it was my turn to comfort him now. He phone rang again, but he just shook his head, telling me to ignore it. The ringing stopped but was quickly replaced by my own phone. Whoever it was, they clearly knew we were together. I pulled away and answered the phone without bothering to check who it was.  
“Lou?” asked a familiar voice, Liam.  
“Li-Li! Hey you!” Liam chuckled.  
“Looks like you’ve cheered up then. Listen, I’ve had a call from Simon, he’s called an emergency meeting, but won’t say what it’s about. Can we come and pick you two up in 5?”  
“I think I know exactly what it’s about, Liam,” I said, my mood dropping, “We’ll be ready. I’ll tell you in the car. Bye, Liam.” Hung up and looked up at Harry.  
“Simon’s called an emergency meeting. The boys will pick us up in 5.”  
He kissed my lightly on the lips and mumbled more apologies about it.  
“Stop apologising, Styles. They were gonna find out sooner or later, weren’t they?” I whispered, linking my hand with his. I pulled him around out apartment, handing him shoes and socks and throwing jackets over his curls. He chuckled and I pulled him on to the sofa.  
“Now,” I giggled with a wink, “Can baby Hazza put his own shoes and socks on?”  
“No. Lou-Lou do it.” He replied playing along.  
“Okay baby.” I laughed, and put my carrot socks on his feet, followed by his converse, before pulling my TOMS on. I pulled him up and chucked a blazer into his face and he grabbed it and pulled it on. As I put on my jacket, the doorbell rang. Harry answered it, and got pulled into a bear hug by Liam.  
“Oi! I yelled, “Hands off my man!” Harry laughed again and turned to grab my hand to pull out of the door. I yanked it shut behind us and did a running jump onto Harry’s back as we walked to the car.  
“I love you, Harry.” I whispered in his ear.  
“I love you too, Louis.” He replied sincerely. I don’t think I’d ever been happier.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry’s POV:

It was deadly silent in the car on the way back to the apartment block. Even Louis was silently checking his twitter. I let my mind wander to the events of the past hour and realised that the silence was inevitable.

 

 

I clambered into the car after Liam, sliding Louis off my back and pulling him in after me. I was faced with 3 inquisitive looks, and I remembered that Louis had told them he knew the reason for this meeting. But Louis was currently hiding behind me – as much as is possible in a moving vehicle. He was scared of what they’d think, I realised. I took his hand and squeezed it before wrapping my arm around him.

“Erm, so basically I ran into Simon’s niece earlier when I went out. Except I didn’t know who she was at the time. I thought she was just a fan.”

“Tell me you didn’t kiss her.” Zayn gasped, shocked. Louis tensed at my side. He hadn’t thought of that.

“No, don’t be stupid. Despite what you guys think, I’m not that much of a man-whore really. Let me finish!” I could tell that none of them were convinced, but I continued anyway.

“She saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. She said she’d never post anything online; there were no consequences. So I did. I told her exactly why I was upset. And I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you guys first, and that you and Niall, Zayn, are only finding out now but, but...” I froze up. What if they were nasty about it? What if they were horrible to Louis? I knew I couldn’t handle that.

“Harry and I are together!” A small, adorable voice piped up from by my side. “At least, I think we are. We didn’t really talk about it but, id like to, you know, be with you. If you want, I mean if you don’t then...”

I silenced him by placing my finger over his soft lips and smiled at him. I turned back to the others and confirmed it: “Louis and I are together.”

We were instantly smothered by Niall who pulled us into a hug. He sat back down, grinning.

“Guess you’re okay with it then Niall?” I joked.

“Okay with it? God, it took you long enough, didn’t it? I’ve been waiting months for this” Came his excited reply.

“So have I.” I whispered in Louis’ ear. His smile only widened.

I shared a smile with Liam, who obviously knew more than the others, and then turned to Zayn. And my smile disappeared.  Zayn was sat staring at us, his slightly open in shock.

“Zayn!” Liam hissed.

“No, it’s alright. I understand it might take a while to get used to.” I looked closer to realise he wasn’t staring at ‘us’, he was staring at me. Right in the eye. And he looked devastated.

Finally he composed himself and looked away, with that look in his eye that I’d seen so often. Only usually, it was in the mirror.

“That’s great guys. I’m happy for you too.” He managed to get out unconvincingly.

“Thanks man.” I replied, giving him a sympathetic smile.

After that, Louis was uncharacteristically quiet. He clung onto me like I was going to leave him and I realised that he too had noticed the look in Zayn’s eyes.

The meeting was suitably horrific too. Louis and I sat in the middle and Niall took his space next to Louis. Liam, who was too perceptive for his own good and evidently noticed the events of the journey there, had hastened to place himself between me and Zayn. I was quietly thankful. Louis was far too upset by this as it was.

Simon began to ask all manner of awkward questions of me and Louis. Halfway through, when I thought I was actually going to die of embarrassment and was imagining what the fans would do when they realised the circumstances surrounding my death, _Free Fallin’,_ my ring tone, began to ring out from my lap. I glanced down and remembered I’d told Lucy she could come over before Liam had called Louis.

“Who is it Harry?”

“It’s Lucy, Simon. She wanted to call over earlier and I forgot to tell her I was meeting you.”

“Well, answer the phone then! Don’t keep her waiting.” I did as I was told, although keeping her waiting was the least of my problems right now.

“Hello Lucy. Look, I’m sorry; Simon called just after you and called an emergency meeting. That’s where I am. Can you give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there.”

“That’s fine. Oh, and Harry? I’m sorry, I really am. I never set out to find information to tell Simon. I just panicked. I never thought you’d just admit something that deep and personal, if I’m honest. I really am a big fan of you boys, and I care about you. Sorry.”

I sighed. “That’s okay, Lu. See you soon.”

I shuffled back into the room and sat back down.

“All okay?” Simon asked. I nodded glumly in reply and felt Louis’ fingers thread themselves through mine, which brought a small twitch of a finger to my otherwise dormant face.

“I don’t think you two should be together. But, if you have to be, then keep it quiet. For now at least. It wouldn’t be good for your image right now. Right, I’ve got to leave you boys. See you soon.” And, having delivered that fatal blow, he left.

Liam stood first. Niall followed him, shadowed by a distant Louis, who pulled me along behind him. Zayn stood up last, but made no effort to leave.

“Harry? Can I err…? Can I talk to you for a second please?” Louis’ fingers tensed around mine, before slipping away. A turned to him, but he refused to look at me and followed Liam and Niall out of the door. I turned back to Zayn.

“Zayn?”

“I’m sorry mate, about earlier. I really am. It’s just that…”

“I know. I saw that look in your eyes earlier man.”

“You know?”

“Yer, sorry man.”

“Ok, I understand. I just thought you should know.” He fled, running back to the car. He liked me. Zayn. I couldn’t believe it. I grabbed the blazer I’d flung carelessly around the back of the chair and ran to join the boys, having to take the only available seat in the corner next to Zayn. And Louis was still refusing to look at me.

Finally, we pulled up to the apartment block. Louis jumped out first, pushing past me without a glance and running inside, wiping a hand across his face desperately as if he were wiping away tears. I really hoped he wasn’t. I’d already made this boy cry today.

I waved at the boys and walked through my front door, which had been left open in Louis’ rush to leave. I closed it carefully behind me and headed for Louis’ bedroom, from where I could already hear the beginnings of sobbing. 


	5. Chapter 5

Louis’ POV:

So many things were running through my head as I collapsed on my bed, mentally begging Harry not to come looking for me. Had he kissed Lucy, just minutes before declaring his undying love for me? Is that why he felt so betrayed at the revelation that she was Simon’s niece? And what about Zayn? What had happened when Zayn asked to talk to him?

He wouldn’t do that to me. He just wouldn’t, not Harry. He loved me, didn’t he? I needed to trust him. But, what if?

My distraught thoughts were interrupted but the creak of my door opening. Well, I was about to find out.

I didn’t remove my head from relative safety of the pillow until he spoke, and even then, I did so reluctantly.

“Lou? Lou look at me. What is it? Is it something I did? Talk to me, babe. What’s bothering you?”

I turned over, wiped a few stray tears from my cheek and stared him straight in the eye.

“Did you kiss Lucy?”

“Is that was this is about?” he choked out, stifling a laugh. I pouted, this wasn’t funny.

“Well,” I insisted, “Did you?”  
”Of course not, Lou. Did the fact that I was at that point having an emotional breakdown because I’m in love with you completely escape your notice? I love you, Louis. Only you. I’m not going to go around kissing anyone I can lay my hands on because all I can think about is you.”

To be fair, the near constant stream of blondes coming through our front door after nights out had diminished over recent weeks. I’d never considered why, just appreciated it whilst it lasted, because frankly having to listen to the one you loved do _that_ with random strangers every night was hard to handle.

“Oh,” Was all I could get out initially. “Sorry for doubting you, Haz.”

“It’s ok, it’s not like I don’t have a reputation.”

We giggled at that. It seemed strange that he had a womanizing reputation when that currently couldn’t be further from the truth. I immediately got rid of any doubts about Zayn, and decided to casually ask what had happened later. Just out of curiosity.

“Kiss me Harry.” I breathed. And he willingly complied.

What started out as a gentle, loving kiss quickly became more needing. I opened my eyes to see him staring back at me, his eyes dark with lust and he tried to control his breathing, with no success. His lips moved from mine and travelled down my jaw to the side of my neck, where he began to suck the sensitive skin there, biting down in order to leave a mark. I struggled to clear my thoughts as it occurred to me that lasting proof on my neck went directly against everything Simon that told us.

“Harry!” I gasped.

“Hmm?” he mumbled against my neck, distracting me again for a few seconds.

“You can’t…leave a mark.” I persisted, “Cameras will…pick...it up. Harry….!”

“It’s winter. It’ll be fine. You can wear a scarf. Simple!”

“But effective!” I couldn’t help but add, breathlessly. He chuckled against my skin.

“Only you would reply with that, Lou.” He replied.

His hands crept to the hem of my striped t-shirt, my fingertips teasing the skin there. He pulled my back up with one hand then removed the top, tossing it carelessly to the side.

“I beg to differ” I argued half-heartedly, as my trembling hands shakily discarded his blazer and the plain white top underneath it and threw them to join my top on the floor.

“The fans would say it too.” I finished. I wrapped my arm securely around his back, as he supported himself above me with one hand and expertly undid my belt with the other. He placed that hand at the small of my back and pushed me upwards so he could push my jeans down my legs. Soon, they too joined the growing pile of our clothes.

“Fair enough, only because of you though.” He agreed.

I could barely think to answer as he took his jeans off too before leaning right over me and kissing me passionately again.

“Oh, shit, sorry boys. Erm…err…we’ve got an interview at 5. We’ve got to leave in half an hour because Niall wants McDonalds. So, err…you should probably…get dressed.” I heard Liam stutter as he walked in on us. Harry spun around so he was sitting next to me.

“Sorry Liam. We should have locked the door. We’ll be ready.”

“Thanks Harry. See you in a minute then.” He looked more than pleased to leave and shut the door securely behind him. Harry and I looked at each other for a second, before laughing hysterically.

“Well, he wasn’t expecting that! I guess we’ll have to continue this tonight” Harry said, with a wink.

“Oh I think we will. His face!” I giggled, doing an impression of the shocked and embarrassed expression Liam had worn.

“Shh...” Harry suddenly said, covering my mouth with his hand to stop my laughter. I gave him a questioning look and he pointed at the door. “Listen.” He whispered.

“What’s up, Liam?” Niall asked on the other side of the door. “Your face is all red. Are Harry and Louis alright?”

“More than alright, I think.” The shock was still evident in his voice, “Let’s just say that I think they need to get dressed before we can go anywhere.”

“They weren’t?!” Niall howled in laughter.

“They were about to. Thank God I went in when I did.”

 We giggled to ourselves.

“Come on, Styles.”

“Right, yes. Erm, let’s do this.” He said, distracted as he continued to laugh at the conversation in the next room.

We dressed, stifling laughs, and then emerged into the living room, to see three pairs of eyes staring at us in amusement.

“Alri’ boys?” Niall broke the silence, and then erupted into laughter.

“Yer, we’re good.” I giggled, “Just had a little nap.”

“A nap? Is that what they call it now?” Zayn replied, thankfully laughing too. That had been my one worry; I didn’t want to hurt him if he liked Harry by rubbing our relationship in his face. But he seemed ok with it, so I wasn’t about to bring it up.

“Yer,” Harry countered, “I know you’d always called it ‘talking’ but honestly, napping explains the lack of clothing better.”

“Point. I should try it sometime.” Zayn joked.

“Hate to break up whatever the hell you want to call this, but if you want food Niall, we need to leave.” Liam interrupted.

“Let’s go!” Niall screamed.

We all laughed, and Harry put his hand in mine as we headed back to the car.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry’s POV:

“Right boys, if you want to sort yourself out on the sofa, the interviewer will be right with you.”

I grabbed Louis hand and pulled him to the far end of the sofa so he was sitting next to us. Liam rolled his eyes at us and sat down in the middle, telling us to move up so there was room for Niall and Zayn. I wrapped my arm around Lou as the young interviewer took a seat in the armchair that sat next to us at an angle so that the cameras could get everyone in shot at once.

If tumblr was anything to go by, the fans thought there’d been less Larry as a cover up for our relationship. Well then, we’ll give them all the Larry they could ever want. I wanted to see what they’d think. I desperately wanted to tell them about us, but Simon was set against it. But we could subtly hint, couldn’t we? Only the most dedicated fans would read anything in it.

“Hi boys, I’m Sophie. Right we’ve got some questions from fans to start off. Question number one is from Amy in London: How would you describe your perfect partner? Can we start with you Harry, and then work along?”

“Yes, of course, Sophie. Erm I’d say that they’ve got to have a good personality. Like, they’ve got to make you laugh. And I notice a person’s smile pretty quickly too I guess. But it’s definitely their personality that’s more important.” I answered, glancing briefly at Louis, who had realised what I was playing at and I knew would play along.

“And you, Louis?”

“Well, I agree with Harry in that personality is really important. I like a bit of banter and a laugh, so yer. Erm and I’ve got a thing for curls at the moment. Not really sure why.” He smirked at the last part and ruffled my own curls. I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Not sure why, eh?” I mouthed to him.

Sophie continued to ask the other boys as we looked at each other, formulating a plan wordlessly in our heads.

“Right, Harry, back to you. Question two is directed at you and Louis, from Sarah in Doncaster,”

“Doncaster, woo!” Louis interrupted, followed by “Sorry, carry on.”

“Her question is: When are you two going to come out already and admit you’re together?” she finished with a smirk.

I looked at Louis, and Louis looked at me. Our mouths were both wide open in shock. We had not been expecting that question. I could see the other boys trying to look nonchalant and not give the game away, it wasn’t working very well. We’d already been quiet for longer than usual when Larry was mentioned. Then I winked at Lou, we could make this work.

“Me?” I answered cheekily, “with _him_? The very idea!”

“Rude, Styles!” Came my boyfriend’s response, “You know you love me!” he giggled.

“Fine, I’ll admit it.” I chuckled, and pounced on him, pretending to kiss him – thinking that actually going for it was a step too far.

“Later” I whispered in his ear before pulling away. There was a cheeky glint in his eye and a smug smile on his face when I glanced back at him.

“I’ve heard that people from Doncaster are very perceptive.” Louis added, with no humour in his voice at all, and a wide smile on his face.

“Is that so, Tomlinson? Because I’ve always found that it takes them a while to realise things.” I retorted.

“Such as?” he asked, although from his face I knew that he knew I was referring to him not realising why I’d been avoiding him before. He just wanted to know what I’d say in front of the camera.

“Well, Boo-bear, I’ve always found that in order for them to know the reason why people are acting the way the way they are, you have to tell them exactly how you’re feeling. Although, people from Doncaster tend to be incredibly subtle when it comes to their own feelings.”

“Now, now, Hazza, you can’t blame everything on people from Doncaster. I’ve found that Holmes Chapel also raises some very strange types.”

“Oh, really? What do people from Holmes Chapel do that’s so strange then?”

“Well, they talk to strangers about their issues rather than people they know, for starters. And they do strange things with their hair.”

“What? Are you insulting my, I mean people from Holmes Chapel’s hair?”

“Not their hair, I’ve always found the hair from that area of the country very attractive. But they do this a lot.” He proceeded to do a very realistic impression of me flicking my hair.

“That’s just stupid. People from Doncaster do this, which is ten times worse.” I flipped my hair like Louis does and he gasped in mock horror.

“However,” I continued, turning to face the camera, “sometimes they can be closer to the truth than they realise.” There was an utter seriousness in my voice and I was staring convincingly down the lens. There was a horrified gasp from Liam, Zayn and Niall, and I realised I might have gone too far.

“I’m joking, of course!” I backtracked, but we all knew that it wasn’t convincing at all. If the fans were suspicious before, they would be practically certain now.

 

Louis’ POV:

Sat in the car after the interview, Liam suddenly became quite serious.

“We had a close call earlier. You two were quiet too long after that question about the two of you being together. And what was that about the fan being close to the truth, Harry? People are going to guess what’s going on at this rate.”

“Some fans have thought that we’re together for months, Liam, regardless. They’re already convinced, it doesn’t really matter what we do. If we cut back in public then they’ll only say that we’re trying to hide our relationship. That’s what they said before.” Harry pointed out.

“I suppose that’s true. It’s ridiculous really, you might as well just tell everyone now. But I’m sure Simon will give in at some point. He probably just doesn’t want to tell everyone if it’s not going to last. Although looking at you, it’s a pretty forgone conclusion that you will.”

“Hmm. I guess I can see his reasons,” I added, “It’s just annoying is all.”

“We’re home!” Niall interrupted our analysing of Simon’s motives and we all jumped out of the car.

Harry and I ran straight for our laptops when we got in and dived for the sofa.

“You check twitter, I’ll check tumblr.” I told him.

He searched ‘Larry’ on twitter and I went onto our fan tumblr, where we’d followed as many One Direction blogs as possible. We read out our findings to each other.

“Larry’s back peeps!”

“Did you see them look at each other in shock when they were asked about being together? They just stared at each other for ages. No way was that put on!”

“The other boys froze when that question was asked. They know something we don’t!”

“‘@Harry_Styles just admit it, seriously. It’s so obvious you’re with Louis.’ Louis they all know. This is ridiculous!”

“I know Haz. Listen to this: ‘Dear Harry and Louis. I know you have fan tumblrs so you’ll probably read this if enough people reblog it. Please, my Larry heart can’t take it! You are so together! Can you please just admit it? Many thanks, Tumblr Larry shippers.’”

“And what was that about Doncaster people being perceptive and close to the truth? Are they trying to tell us something? I bet management told them not to tell us, but they’re trying to hint instead.”

“That thing about Doncaster people and Holmes Chapel people. It was obvious they were talking about themselves. Was the reference to feelings about Harry acting strangely because of how he felt about Lou and telling a stranger before Louis but having to tell him because he couldn’t work it out? Was Louis more subtle about it? Does this mean they’re actually together?”

“Someone should show these to Simon, he’d go mental!” Harry said. We collapsed into laughter at the thought of it. It would be quite a sight.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry’s POV:

It was a week after *that* interview and it seemed the whole country had gone wild for Larry Stylinson. There were articles on almost every paper or magazine we saw. My favourite headline was ‘We can love you more than him, Harry!” whilst Louis’ personal favourite seemed to be ‘Harry ditches Haroline for Larry!’. We’d been asked countless times about our relationship, and always made a joke out of it, never coming as close as that initial time though. If we kept doing that then it really wouldn’t be a surprise to anyone when we eventually came out. And I was really looking forward to seeing how people reacted.

I grabbed a jacket and glanced back at Louis.

“You sure you’re okay with me going out? Because I can stay if you want?”

“Don’t be stupid, Harry. I’ve got a cold, it’s nothing serious. I just don’t feel up to going out. Go and have fun!”

“Thanks Boo-Bear!” I grinned as Zayn pulled me out of the door.

I wasn’t going to lie; I did really want to go out with the boys. I hadn’t been in a few weeks and wanted another chance to enjoy the new-found peaks of being 18. But at the same time, I was reluctant to leave Louis alone in the apartment whilst he was ill. Even if, as he had pointed out, it wasn’t actually that serious.

 

Louis’ POV:

I snuggled down on the sofa with ice cream and a huge stack of films to watch. Sure I’d of liked to go out with the others, but it seemed like I had a pretty good night ahead of me. The can of beer I’d found in the fridge helped though.

It was about 2 in the morning when I was awoken from my nap on the sofa by the door crashing open to reveal Harry. Or more accurately Harry’s back. I was standing up sleepily to see what was going on when I heard something I’d really have rather not heard.

“Harry, you flirt!”

“Oh you love it really!”

“You know I do, Styles. Now, kiss me again.”

“Harry?” I gasped. He turned around and smiled at me.

“Hey Lou-Lou! What you still doing up, babycakes?”

“How much have you had to drink, Harry?”

“Not enough, Liam made me stop for ages… Then they all left me. They’re really boring. And then I met Lily. What have you been up to, Boo-Bear?”

He was completely off his face. He didn’t even let me answer, but walked straight up to me so close that I could smell the alcohol on his breath as it hit my face. I looked into his eyes and he didn’t even look like himself. This wasn’t my Harry. This was a heartless monster in the shape of my boyfriend. I shrank away in fear. I knew he had a violent tendency when he was this drunk.

“Shall I tell you something, Lou? You have the most amazing eyes. If I wasn’t completely straight, I might fancy you.”

He didn’t even remember about _us._ What was going on?

“You don’t actually remember anything do you, Harry? I swear you’ve been doing more than drinking. Simon’ll kill you if he finds out.”

“I have as a matter of fact. I’ve been kissing lots of very beautiful girls. But she,” he pointed at the girl giggling at the front door, “was the most beautiful girl in the room. So I just _had_ to take her home.”

I felt sick. I wanted to scream and shout at him. How could he? I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t stick around to see this.

“I’m, I’m going to Liam’s Harry. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

“What’s there to talk about Lou? It’s not like I’m with someone.”

I slapped him, I couldn’t help myself. Did I really mean that little to him that he could forget all about our relationship after a few drinks?

“You’re supposed to be with me, or have you forgotten that completely, you bastard!”

“Me? With you?” He sneered, his words taking me back to the almost identical words he’d said in the interview last week and making tears threaten to fall, “Why _on Earth_ would I be with you, Louis? Go back to your gay dreams; you’re just jealous because I get more than you do.”

“Harry!”

“Louis!” he mimicked me.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this. I- ”

“If I’m honest, Louis, I don’t actually give a shit about what you think. Go and snivel to Liam because I’d rather be giving Lily the best night she’s ever had listen to you droning on, you pathetic creep.”

I lost it. I fled through the front door in floods of tears and ran to Liam’s pounding on the door. He opened it, rubbing his eyes. They widened as he realised the state I was in and put an arm round me and pulled me inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Louis, what’s happened?” He sat me down on his sofa and hugged me whilst I sobbed into his shoulder. Eventually, I pulled away and took a deep breath.

“It’s Harry, Liam. He just got back, and he, he’d brought a girl home with him.”

“He what?” Liam yelled, suddenly angry.

“Uh huh. Lily. And then he walked over to me, and he said that, he said that I had nice eyes, and if he wasn’t straight he might fancy me. He was so drunk Liam. He didn’t remember that we were together. He didn’t remember anything. And I lost it and slapped him. And then he was like ‘why would I ever want to go out with you?’ and he was just, just saying that I was just jealous because more girls wanted him than me. And he told me he didn’t give a shit about me and that I was a pathetic creep.” I started crying again, and Liam pulled me back into a hug.

“Alright, Lou. Come on, take a tissue. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He drunk far too much far too quickly. He refused to leave when we did so God knows how much he had after we’d gone too. I knew I should have stayed with him.”

“Don’t blame yourself. It’s just that they do say that a drunken mouth speaks a sober heart. What if that’s how he really feels about me?”

“Listen, Lou. I know how Harry’s been feel over the last few months and the feelings he has for you are genuine. I don’t know what’s gotten into his head but I do know that he’ll regret it in the morning. Zayn’s gonna kill him. The last thing he said to him before we left was ‘Don’t be too long. Make sure you get home for Louis.’ He’ll go mental.”

“Who’ll go mental? What’s going on?” Zayn said from the front door.

“You will. Harry had far too much, it seems.”

Zayn took in the state of my face and quickly worked out what had happened.

“He brought a girl home, didn’t he? Arsehole.”

“How did you know” I asked, confused.

“I was scared he might. We never realised before, seeing as he didn’t drink as heavily before he was legal, but it seems that Harry forgets things when he’s drunk. He called me Niall at least 10 times earlier. And kept asking who Ed was. And they’re best friends. But I had hoped that he wouldn’t be able to forget you. Apparently he really did overdo it.”

“Right, come on Louis. We’ll talk to him in the morning and I bet he’ll be feeling very guilty as soon as he wakes up next to _her_. You should get some sleep. This is why I have a spare bed.”

“Thank you Liam. And you too, Zayn.”

“That’s ok Lou. See you in the morning.” Zayn walked out, shaking his head, and shut the door behind him.

As I lay in Liam’s spare bed I thought over everything that had happened between me and Harry. I wondered how on Earth it had ended up like this. As I cried myself to sleep, one phrase seemed to resound in my head, the unusual harshness in Harry’s voice hurting me more every time: “ _If I’m honest, Louis, I don’t actually give a shit about what you think. You pathetic creep.”_ How could he do this to me? He’d made me so happy, and with very few words he’d torn me apart again. How, and why?


	8. Chapter 8

Harry’s POV:

My eyes flickered open and my hand flew to my head. I had possibly the worst headache ever. Stupid hangover. I slowly sat up and looked around.

Why was there a naked girl in my bed?

I blinked a couple of times, before leaning down to the floor and pulling out a pair of boxers from the heap of clothes on the floor and putting them on.

What had I done last night?

Well, judging by the mutual lack of clothing it was pretty obvious what I’d done last night. But why would I have done that? I had Louis, and I loved Louis.

Louis.

I pulled open my bedroom door and ran into Louis’ room. It was empty. The bed hadn’t even been slept in.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Wait, I left him on the sofa before I went out last night. Maybe he was there. I ran into the living room. I saw a hastily thrown aside blanket on the floor next to the sofa, and the TV was still on.

But Louis was nowhere to be seen.

How much had I had to drink last night?

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I looked terrible.

Where was Louis?

I was so screwed.

What the hell had I done?

I’d potentially just ruined my relationship with Louis because I’d got so drunk I could barely think and slept with a random blonde, that’s what.

Said blonde emerged from my room, wearing the dress that I presumed she wore last night and carrying a pair of black heels.

“Last night was fun Harry, thanks.” She winked at me, “shame about Louis being here at first though. Well, bye.” She smiled and walked out the door.

Ok, scrap potentially; I’d just ruined my relationship with Louis.

Where was he?

Someone pounded at the door. I groaned, holding my head as it screamed in protest at the sound. I opened to door to find a very angry Zayn.

“Zayn. What the fuck did I do last night?”

He slapped me round the face.

“That’s on behalf of Louis, you prick.”

“Oi!” I yelled. I didn’t care if he was right, he couldn’t say that.

“Shut up, Harry. Just get together enough stuff for a week.”

“What?”

“I’m moving in with Niall and you’re moving into my apartment. So that Louis doesn’t have to see your disgusting face.”

“Where is he, Zayn? Please, let me see him. Let me talk to him, please. I’m begging you.”

“I can’t believe I ever fell for you. Just sort your stuff out, Harry. Before I loose my temper.”

I turned and walked back to my room. I pulled clothes out of my wardrobe and off the floor and flung them carelessly into the suitcase I always kept under my bed. My hands fell on something I knew wasn’t mine. It was one of Louis’ striped tops. I fell to the floor, clutching the top. It still smelt of him. I sat there for a few minutes until Zayn yelled from the front room.

“Harry what’s taking you so long?”

I stuffed Louis’ top in the suitcase, zipped it closed, grabbed my phone, and pulled the case into the living room. As I did so a thought occurred to me.

The blonde had said that Louis had ‘been there’ at the beginning which had ‘been a shame’.

Had we spoken when I was drunk?

What had I said?

“Zayn, please. Can I just ask you one question? I don’t remember anything from last night. I want to know what I said to Louis before he left. Please.”

“Fine. You really want to know? From what Louis had managed to tell us, you told him that if you weren’t straight you might fancy him, that it didn’t matter that you were getting with Lily,” Lily? That must be the blonde’s name, “because you were single. And when he reminded you of your relationship you said, and I quote, ‘why on Earth would I want to be with you?’. And you told him he was just jealous because you get more girls than he does, and that you didn’t give a shit about what he thought, and that he’s a pathetic creep. Does that clear everything up for you?”

I nodded, it did. That was why Zayn hated me. I didn’t blame him, I hated myself.

Zayn held his spare key out to me and I dragged my stuff through the hallway to Zayn’s flat, praying that I could hold back the tears until I had closed the door behind me. Then, as I passed Liam’s door, I heard a gut-wrenching sob coming from within. I knew it was Louis and my heart plummeted. I had to fix this. I had to fix it.

I didn’t think that Liam’s door would be locked, so I took the chance. I looked back to see Zayn locking mine and Louis’ door, and took the opportunity whilst his back was turned to abandon my case and run into Liam’s.

“Louis!” I gasped in shock as I took a second to take in the broken boy sobbing helplessly on the sofa. He looked up in shock and turned to call for Liam. I didn’t have much time.

“No!” I hissed, “Don’t call him. Please. I know you hate me, God I hate myself. But please, let me talk to you. Zayn told me what I said to you last night and I, I need to tell you the truth. I need you to know that it was complete rubbish and I love you with all my heart and you mean everything to me and…”

“Harry Styles what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Zayn screamed from behind me, causing Liam to come running from another room. He saw me and then looked to Louis. Zayn grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from Louis.

“Louis!” I pleaded and then desperately, “Liam, please. Don’t do this, please!”

Zayn bundled me into his apartment and threw my stuff in after me, slamming the door and leaving me alone. I heard yells begin to emerge from next door.

“He’s got feelings too Zayn! He feels terrible, can’t you see that? You can’t keep them apart forever. They have to talk eventually.”

“I just.” Zayn sobbed. At this rate, the whole of One Direction would be in tears by the end of the day, “I just loved him, and he did that. I can’t believe it.”

Then, quite unexpectedly, the door opened and the lights turned on to reveal Niall in my hallway. He closed the door and walked over to me, crouching down to my level.

“I’m not going to judge you, Haz. I know you didn’t mean a word. It’ll all be okay – trust me.” He said kindly, and then pulled me into a hug.

I didn’t trust him though. I couldn’t. Because I had an overwhelming feeling I’d lost Louis. And, if that were the case, I didn’t think that anything would ever be okay again.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry’s POV:

I sat there for what seemed like hours, clutching Louis’ top which I’d retrieved from the suitcase and talking to Niall. Occasionally I’d shiver in horror as another memory of last night surfaced in my head. He tried to distract me by talking about anything unrelated to Louis. He told me random memories of Ireland before the X Factor, and asked about my family, but nothing seemed to work.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to find Liam had joined Niall on the floor with me.

“I didn’t try to move him, Liam,” I heard Niall whisper, “he seems so fragile.”

“I know, Niall, I know. Right, come on Harry lets get you to the sofa.” He helped me stand and lead me to the sofa. He knelt down in front of me and put a hand on my knee.

“Harry, calm down. Don’t worry, Zayn’s just got a temper sometimes, you know how protective he can be. He doesn’t hate you, and neither do I. You can make this right, I know you can. When you’ve calmed down a bit, I’ll take you next door and you two can talk, okay?”

I nodded, not yet trusting myself to speak. Niall got me a cup of tea and I sipped it cautiously, trying to calm myself down as quickly as possible.

When my breathing had become something that resembled even I stood up, smiled gratefully and made for the door. I left Zayn’s and went straight next door.

Deciding that since my earlier tactics hadn’t really worked that well I should try a different tack. I knocked gently on the door, and heard a small voice tell me to come in.

I opened the door carefully and shut it behind me. Louis was sat with his back to me and his head in his hands. I quietly moved closer, and he turned his head to reveal that his face was stained with tears that were still flowing. It broke my heart that it had been me that had done this, and I knew he’d never want to be with me again. Simon had been right all along. But I had to try to rekindle our friendship because I couldn’t lose him completely. His eyes narrowed when he realised it was me and I walked around him to sit directly in front of him. He whipped his head round so he was looking at me, a distrustful and suspicious expression on his face.

I can’t say I blamed him.

“Lou...”

“I don’t actually know that I want to hear whatever you’re about to say. I don’t know how you plan to explain away what you said last night, but I am sure that it won’t convince me. I thought, I thought I knew you Harry. I thought that I knew you inside out, better than anyone else. I thought that what we had was special. But it obviously wasn’t because you forgot it so easily. I evidently don’t know you at all; because the Harry I thought I knew would never do that to someone he loved. So I’ve got to assume that I don’t know you like I thought I did. Because the alternative, that you never loved or cared about me at all, is too horrible to contemplate.” He said all of this with absolute control and a sense of calmness, as if he’d thought this over and accepted it as the truth. He stared me straight in the eyes, and the only clue that this affected him was the occasional tear that trickled down his cheeks. I fought the urge to wipe them away.

Louis’ POV:

He stared at me in wonder as I spoke. His eyes flicked between my eyes and the tears on my cheeks. I saw in those green orbs the concern that I knew Harry for. From what I’d heard next door, he’d gone into hysterics after Zayn had dragged him from my room. I didn’t really understand why, but I guessed that he was either angry at himself for what he’d done, or angry at Zayn for having a go at him. Under normal circumstances, I’d have said the first reason, unconditionally. He always considered other people before himself. But I’d seen a side to him that I didn’t recognise last night, and now I wasn’t so sure.

“I, I’m not going to try to explain away my behaviour.” He began, choosing his words carefully, “Because I know I can’t. I know that I haven’t got any excuses or reasons that justify what I did last night. I was so drunk that I totally forgot everything, and everyone. But, I can’t believe I forgot the most important person in my life. I can’t believe I forgot you.” He paused, and looked deeply into my eyes. I made no attempt to break the eye contact. “But I didn’t forget you entirely. I’ve been thinking about this, based on what Liam told me. I totally forgot who Ed was. And I called Zayn Niall. But you, with you Louis I still knew who you were, even if I’d forgotten how much you mean to me. And I’m not sure what, but I know that must mean something. And I’m making a promise right now that I will never drink as much as I did last night. Not now that I know what I’m like. I’m so, so _disgusted_ by myself that I can barely believe it was me. I feel like when the boys are telling me what I was doing, what I was saying, they’re talking about someone else. Someone horrible. I’m not asking for you to take me back, Louis. I don’t deserve that. I’m not asking for you to forgive me today, either. But please, Louis. Forgive me. I am so, so sorry. I know that sorry isn’t enough, but it’s a start isn’t it? I’m going to change. I’ve blown every chance of being in a relationship with you. And though that kills me inside, I know it was through my own actions. But I don’t think I can take losing you as a friend as well. And, perhaps selfishly, I’d like to think you don’t want to lose our friendship entirely either. Just consider it, I’m begging you. Consider keeping me in your life.”  He was struggling to remain composed towards the end. He finally broke eye contact, stood slowly, and made for the door. “I’m all yours, Louis. Every part of me belongs to you, no matter what. Never forget that.” He whispered, before disappearing into the hallway.

I believed every word he’d said. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to trust him as I once had. I knew that I’d be keeping my eye on him every time we came into contact with girls if we stayed together. Which, considering that we were a famous boy band with thousands of screaming girls following us wherever we went, would be a mean feat. It just wouldn’t work. I needed to forgive him first. I needed to learn to trust him again. But I still needed him; that I didn’t doubt.


	10. Chapter 10

Harry’s POV:

I sat alone in Zayn’s room on his bed staring at the bare wall. Louis had covered almost all of their wall space with photos and posters, but Zayn apparently liked to keep it clutter-free.

_No, Harry. We’re not thinking about Louis, remember?_

I’d decided to block Louis from my thoughts, but everything he thought about lead back to him.

I dug my hand into my suitcase and pulled out my iPod. I shuffled all my songs and allowed the sound to fill my thoughts as I lay back onto the bed and sunk into a deep sleep.

 

Louis’ POV:

I hadn’t moved an inch since Harry left. I’d thought over every word he’d said and was more confused about what to do than ever. I could barely think, I was so tired. I walked the two steps to the sofa and collapsed onto it, quickly falling into a restless sleep.

 

Liam’s POV:

Harry was holed up in Zayn’s apartment, Zayn was sulking in Harry and Louis’, Louis was holed up in mine and Niall and I were sitting in despair in his. How could this much have gone wrong in less than 24 hours?

Far too easily.

My phone rang suddenly, echoing eerily around the emptiness and startling both of us. I lazily answered it and was met with Ed’s frantic voice.

“Liam? Where’s Harry? He’s not answering his phone. He always answers his phone.”

“Urgh, sorry Ed. I forgot you were supposed to be meeting him. He’s had an argument with Louis. I don’t think he’s going anywhere today if I’m honest.”

I heard keys rattling and an engine starting up. Ed coughed and cursed to himself.

“Sorry, mate. He wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to stop him taking that blonde home this morning. He was so out of it, he deteriorated after you left. He thought we’d just met, so none of what I said was actually processed. I couldn’t stop him. I’ll go talk to him, if you want?”

“It’s not your fault. He loses his memory when he drinks. I have no clue why. I think it might help if you did, he listens to you. He’s in Zayn’s apartment, the front doors open.”

“Okay, thank you Liam. See you later, yer?”

“Sure, see you.” I pressed the red button and discarded my phone. “Ed’s going to talk to Harry. See if that helps.” I added for Niall’s benefit.

“It can’t hurt. Anything’s worth a try at this point.” He replied glumly, his usual upbeat Irish tone invaded by sorrow. He hated arguments.

I nodded in agreement, standing up and walking over to hug him comfortingly. I hated it when the boys were upset. They were like my little brothers and I felt a kind of responsibility towards them. It broke my heart to see them so broken.    

 

Harry’s POV:

The front door clicked open and banged shut with a harshness that attacked my ears after hours of silence. Footsteps grew in volume as the individual who had disrupted my moping ventured towards the door to my self-created prison. I watched as the door handle squeaked when it was turned as took a sharp breath inwards as I heard the underside of the door scrape the wooden floors as it slowly slid open. The seconds seemed to last forever as I finally got up the courage to look at whoever was intruding on my solitude and my tearful eyes finally and hesitantly met Ed’s wary ones. I felt pathetic as I felt him assess what state I was in with those watchful eyes of his that never missed a thing. This unwanted feeling of at long last realising how I must look spurred me on to shakily stand for the first time in forever and come to a stop in front of him. Wordlessly, he shook his head slightly and pulled me into a tight hug, full of both comfort and protectiveness. He didn’t utter a word, he didn’t need to – I knew every thought running through his mind instinctively. Just like I always did with Louis.

I swallowed back more tears.

Ed pulled back and looked deep into my eyes, before wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leading me out. I glanced at him anxiously, but he gave me a reassuring look and kept going until we reached Liam’s door, where I knew Louis would still be hibernating. I stopped and shook my head, not caring when my curls covered my eyes. Ed opened the door and tugged me inside, pulling the door behind us. Louis was asleep on the sofa, but he was far from peaceful. His face was contorted in an expression of fear and hurt as his perfect lips mouthed words that I couldn’t make out.

I started in shock when he gasped my name in a distressed voice, mixed with confusion and utter heartbreak. Without hesitation, and with a fierce dismissal of the reason fighting to be heard in my mind, I rushed forward and crouched low at Louis’ dormant yet distressed face. With a shaking hand, I ran trembling fingers over his soft cheek, which relaxed beneath my touch. His devastatingly beautiful blue eyes flickered open sleepily and he went to smile at me. Then, recollection of the past 24 hours hit him abruptly and he sat up and stared at me blankly. I stayed still and silent, watching for his reaction to my being here. But it appeared as if he was doing the same as neither of us moved an inch. Our eyes remained glued together, each sure that the other would break the gaze, waiting expectantly for this to occur.

What was I supposed to do now?

Finally, Louis broke the tension.

“What are you doing here Harry?” He asked despairingly, “You’re just making this harder than it already is.”

“Because I, I can’t cope with not being able, to, to see you.” I stuttered through threatening tears.

“Well you’re just going to have to.” He replied aggressively, in a disastrous endeavour to conceal his feelings. “I can’t even look at you, Harry. Just leave me alone.”

“Louis. Stop. I, I know what you’re doing. It’s not going to work with me; you should know that by now. I know you well enough to recognize when you’re fighting your feelings. It’s just not you. Please. Let the walls down. Don’t block me out.”

“Why shouldn’t I? I don’t know you anymore. Why should I tell you anything?”

“Please, hear me out Lou. I made a dreadful mistake, but I’m still me. And I know I hurt you and I know that you hate me. But you can’t possibly hate me more than I hate myself. Don’t bottle everything up. I’m begging you. And if you, if you can’t bring yourself to tell me, then tell someone else. Tell Liam, please. It kills me to see you tearing yourself apart like this, as if it were you’re fault. Which it isn’t. None of this is your fault Louis. You’re funny and you’re beautiful and you’re just so incredibly perfect I can’t even put it into words. You-” I was becoming more and more desperate as I knelt before him, tears racing down my face.

“Harry, please.” He interrupted, “Don’t do this. Not when I can’t tell if you’re sincere about what you’re saying. I want you in my life. No, no I don’t. I _need_ you in my life. But I need time.” His voice was gentle and caring and it broke my heart that he still needed me when there was nothing I deserved less.

“I’ll wait Louis. As long as you need. I’d wait forever for you.” I whispered.

“Thank you. Now, I believe I have to go and have a chat with Liam.” He smirked lovingly at me and my heart faltered. We both stood and found ourselves standing centimetres away from each other. I coughed awkwardly and stepped back to let him past. He gave me a light hug before heading for the door. I turned to watch him leave, and remembered Ed’s presence. I gave him a slight smile which he returned and beckoned me to follow him. Where were we going now?

 


	11. Chapter 11

Louis’ POV:   
I was an emotional mess. Although hopelessly in love was probably a good way to describe it too. Or as close as I could get to describing the reason that my fingers were shaking until I shoved them into my pocket. I couldn’t believe id basically given in to Harry so easily with so little persuasion, it was ridiculous. And now I was heading down the corridor to see Liam on Harry’s advice to tell him…what? What was I going to tell him? What exactly was I planning to say? I could barely process my thoughts let alone put them into words and coherent sentences. This was never going to work. It was stupid and pointless and I was either going to make a fool of myself or collapse in tears. So why was I still walking? Why was I coming to a stop in front of and knocking on Niall’s door because I knew instinctually that Liam would be there? Because Harry had asked me to, that’s why. And I could never refuse him anything when he looked at me with those incredible, incredible eyes. Those eyes were my greatest weakness.

I heard a lock turn and a bolt slide before the door creaked open and a head appeared round it to check out who it was.

“Louis? You alright?” Liam asked as he pulled open the door and motioned for me to come inside. The safety conscious boy he was, he locked the door behind us again and slid the stiff bolt across and sat next to me on the sofa, his boy turned towards me openly, waiting for a second or two before answering my unspoken question. “Niall’s at a friends. Couldn’t deal with the tension – you know what he’s like. We’ve got all the time you need.” He explained reassuringly yet expectantly as I glanced around searching for the blonde, Irish lad.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes momentarily. They flickered open again as I attempted to collect my thoughts and I turned my head to look at Liam.

“So,” I began slowly and carefully, choosing each word with consideration, “I spoke to Harry just now, Ed brought him to see me. And I told him I needed him. And he said that he’d wait for me forever.”

“He loves you, Louis.” Liam whispered, “I’ve never seen anything like it before if I’m honest. He clings to your every word and his eyes are constantly on you. The look in them, too. Indescribable. There’s a dependence there that I can’t begin to comprehend. Without you, he’s nothing. It’s as if he can’t remember how to cope without you at the centre of his universe anymore. He can’t function when you’re gone. He’ll do anything to get you back. He’d risk it all for you”

“Anything?” I gasped in wonder.

“Anything. Without a second thought. He’d sell his soul for you, Louis. No doubt about it.”

I hadn’t really considered it before. I’d contemplated how much I was in love with him but hadn’t thought at all about the depth of his feelings for me. But looking back I could see it in his eyes all the time. The difference in the expression in those deep orbs that were the keys to his soul when he turned from someone else to look at me was evident, when I thought in retrospect.

“But I still can’t trust him. I can barely look at him without crying. Urgh I’m so pathetic! What do I do Liam?” I replied despairingly.

“What do you do? Take it slow. Don’t rush into it. I pushed you two into going too fast before when I knew your love was mutual and I should’ve let you get there at your own pace. My advice or you now? Focus on your friendship first, that’s more important than a relationship. You need to get back to where you used to be or you’ll get nowhere at all in a relationship.” His voice was calm and confident, and I trusted him entirely.

I pounced on him over across the sofa and squeezed him tight. I squeaked manic words of thanks rapidly and repetitively in his ear as his laughter caused his whole body to shake slightly and he wholeheartedly returned the overjoyed hug I gave him.

“You think we have a chance? Honestly?” I stuttered through joy.

“No.” he stated. I pulled away slightly, my heart sinking. He saw my expression and quickly continued. “I don’t think you two have a chance. I know you have a chance. A better chance than most couples. Now, enough serious talk. Let’s do something to take your mind off things. Go choose a film to watch and I’ll stick some popcorn in the microwave! Make sure you choose the right film. The right film being Toy Story, by the way!”  He instructed as he gently moved me off of him and stood us both up before heading for the kitchen. I shook my head and laughed to myself. Of course it had to be Toy Story. I bent down in front of his DVDs and found the 3 Toy Story movies.

“One, two or three, Liam?” I yelled.

“Decisions, decisions.” He said thoughtfully, appearing in the doorway. “First one! It’s a classic.”

I giggled and loaded the chosen film prior to falling back onto the sofa contently as it began to load. Liam joined me seconds after I heard the ping of the microwave and the sound of sugar being sprinkled on top of popcorn. He offered my the bowl and I took a handful, before I jumped as I heard a pounding on the door.

“Li-aaamm! I heard the microwave go and I can hear Toy Story! Open the door and give me the popcorn!” Niall yelled. I heard doors open throughout the corridor.

“Popcorn?” Zayn yelled expectantly.

“What’s going on? Why are people yelling about popcorn?” Harry asked, his sleepily husky voice putting the hairs on my neck on edge with the attraction I felt for him without even seeing him.

“I’ll get it.” Liam mumbled to me and got up to open the door. Niall swept past him boisterously and headed straight to me and submerged his hand in the bowl that was sitting comfortably on my lap.

“Hello to you too, Niall!” I joked, swatting his arm away.

“Hey Lou!” He laughed, nestling down beside me and taking another handful.

Zayn was next in, giving Liam a hug and saying something quietly to him which looked like ‘Sorry for being such a dick’. Liam nodded and whispered something in return before patting him on the back. He ambled over and leaned over to give me a light hug and simultaneously take some of the popcorn before cosying up next to Niall. I took hold of the remote and paused the opening credits of Toy Story, anticipating Liam’s upset if he missed the beginning.

Lastly, Harry’s head appeared nervously from the side of the door. Liam took a gentle hold of his arm and pulled him inside, gripping him in a tight hug as he kicked the door behind them. I handed the popcorn to Niall, who seemed delighted at this, and hesitantly stood and made my way to the curly-haired boy who had turned to face me. We stood less than a metre apart staring wordlessly into each other’s eyes, our expressions full of meaning. Then I took that last step forward and wrapped my arms around him possessively. Liam locked the door and edged around us to take my pervious seat, stealing the popcorn from Niall before he ate it all and starting the film eagerly. They were all keeping half an eye on us, but I ignored them. I leant into the hug and he began to relax in my grip as I whispered in his ear.

“We can do this, Harry. We’ll make it through. We can get this back. We can get _us_ back, I promise you. If we take it slowly then we can do it. I believe in us and I love you too much to let you go. Don’t cry baby. Just tell me you’re as determined to make this work as I am.”

He drew back slightly and gazed lovingly at me; blinking back tears before replying to my words with conviction I had heard never before heard from his remarkable lips.

“I love you too Louis. And I’ll do anything to make this happen. I promise.”

I took his hand and ran my thumb tenderly over his as I lead him to the sofa next to the one that the other boys shared and pulled him down to sit next to me. He adjusted his position so that his head lay on my chest, our fingers still entwined. His breath became even as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep, and I pressed a chaste kiss to his organised mess of curls. Then I too fell back into a beautiful slumber where I dreamt solely of the boy who was firmly back where he belonged now: in my arms.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry’s POV:

I tried to tell myself that I didn’t care that Louis and I weren’t together. We’d slipped back into a close friendship that I would’ve been content with before but I would be lying if I said that I was satisfied with that now. I knew that Louis needed to get back to a point where he could fully trust me again, but I wished that he could get there soon. It’d been a week now of me persistently trying to prove myself to him and it wasn’t getting me anywhere.

I sat alone once again in the dark of my room. I’d turned the lights off and had both earphones in blasting music in a distraction attempt. I glanced to my left to read the time on my digital alarm clock that was the only source of light in the room. It was five in the morning. I was usually asleep by now. I’d usually managed some sleep by now. But tonight my thoughts were too manic to allow rest. We’d arranged interviews for tomorrow morning– this morning – too. I was so going to regret this. Why hadn’t I collapsed from exhaustion yet? Surely the relief would come soon.

An hour and a half later and I was still wide awake. There was no chance of sleep now. I slid my feet onto the floor and stood up, grabbing a pair of joggers and pulling them on before wrapping my earphones around my iPod and slipping it into the pocket. My eyes had long adjusted to the darkness as I easily made my way to the door. I shook my hair out of my eyes as I headed to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. I let it warm my hands as I shuffled to the sofa and began to flick through channels, trying to find something worth watching. Behind me, a door clicked open and then shut. I turned my head to find a tired-looking Louis standing there rubbing his eyes. He spotted me and gave me an unconvincing half smile.

“You too, huh?” he asked.

“Me too what?” I crinkled my forehead in confusion.

“Can’t sleep,” he explained, “and it looks like you didn’t either.” I shook my head by way of reply. “Listen. I’ve err… I’ve got something I have to say, Harry. I wish I didn’t have to, but I can’t see a way around it.”

My mouth dropped open. I wanted to reply but found I couldn’t speak. I didn’t like the sound of whatever he was about to tell me. Louis had become serious of his own accord and that was never a good sign. My eyes followed him as he came and sat down next to me warily, keeping a worrying distance between us. He couldn’t look at me; his gaze was determinedly fixed on his feet. He swallowed and blinked. Finally he slowly lifted his head and stared straight into my eyes. I stared back, entranced. His stunning blue eyes were full of emotion. I recognised guilt, sorrow and remorse. There were tears appearing in the corners too. This was going to be bad. Terrible. I was torn between staying to hear what he had to say and making a run for it. Then, more heart shatteringly than the emotion that had been overflowing from those eyes just a fraction of a second before, his eyes suddenly glazed over and become devoid of any emotion at all. He stood up and took the three or four small steps to the window. His back to me, he gazed down at the street below. I was still frozen to the spot as he began to speak in an expressionless tone, still facing away from me, as if he didn’t want to see my reaction.

“I had a call late last night from Isabel. The girl I was with about nine months ago?”

“Oh yer, her. Wasn’t she…?”

“She was the one who begun blackmailing me and was a bitch to you boys, especially you Harry. Which is why I dumped her. I told her, against her adamant assertions, that she couldn’t possibly love me if she treated the people I was closest to like that. But anyway, as I said I got a call from her last night. She was crying down the phone and she told me that…that…”

“What Louis? What did she tell you?” I pleaded, getting to my feet but not moving any closer to him. Slowly he turned around to face me and fixed his gaze just left of my face, as if he couldn’t quite bring himself to look me in the eye. Suddenly, understanding hit. Did he say nine months?

“She’s just given birth to a little boy.”

My knees gave way beneath me and I sunk to the floor. I lent forward with my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut to stop myself crying. I heard the soft thud of Louis’ knees hitting the floor as he knelt down in front of me and his fingers reached between my hands to touch the part of my chin I hadn’t hidden. He applied a gentle pressure to lift my head up and my hands fell away as we made eye contact once more.

“What are you going to do, Louis?” I breathed. “Why do I feel like I’m about to loose you again when I’ve only just got you back?” He didn’t answer me. He shifted his fingers so that his thumb ran over my cheek, sending a chill down my spine. His eyes continue to bore into mine as mine did in his.

“I’m sorry Harry. I really am. I don’t want to do this to you but I don’t feel as if I have a choice. You’ll still see me. I’ll still be around. But I have to look after my son. I can’t abandon him. I’ve got to get back together with Isabel, that’s the only thing I can do. I don’t want to be one of those fathers their children only ever see once in a blue moon, or that send money every so often but don’t do much else. I want to be a constant in his life. I want to be a real father. And the only way I can do that is to move back in with his mother. I’ll come back down for rehearsals. We’ll probably even move back down to London. But I don’t…” he began to choose his words very carefully, “I don’t think that it would be wise for me to see you too much of you. I don’t think I’ll be able to be with you too often without wanting to kiss you. In fact I know I won’t. I know because I really want to kiss you right now. I don’t love her, that I promise you. But she appears to love me and I can’t hurt somebody by cheating on them, no matter how I feel about them. Not when I know what that feels like. I don’t want you to feel like this is your fault. It’s not. Not in the slightest. I’ll always love you Harry. Always. Never forget that. Never forget what we had either – because I know I never will. But please don’t cling on to the past. Move on. Love again. Because although I know I’ll never be happy with her in my life taking the place that rightly belongs to you, I’d hate you to be unhappy too. I had planned on telling you a load of lies about not loving you anymore so that you could hate me and make it easier for me to leave. But I know that you wouldn’t be able to handle that. I don’t want to upset you. Which is why I’m being completely honest with you. And if you can’t forgive me for leaving you like this then I understand. I understand if you…if you never want to talk to me again. I’ll respect that. But either way, don’t cling to the memories. Look forward to the future. I hope you find happiness, Harry. I really hope that you get your happy ending.”

He wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes and stood up. Without looking back at me, he went to his room and emerged again with a suitcase. He pulled on his coat and wheeled the case to the door and opened it. Then he glanced back at me, still on the floor watching him.

“Goodbye Harry.” He whispered, and then he left.

Too late, I ran over to the door and collapsed against it, hopelessly screaming Louis’ name as tears erupted from my eyes. I curled up in a ball on the floor, still screaming his name and shaking from the mounting sobs. I was literally breaking into a million pieces. The only person who could keep me whole had just walked out of my life and I didn’t think I could ever cope without him.

A lifetime later, I slowly got to my feet. I walked cautiously over to the sofa and sat down. On the floor by my feet lay a pair of Louis’ TOMS which he’d evidently forgotten. Relapsing into helplessness, I cradled them to me. I thought that this would give me some comfort. I still had a little part of him. But all it did was deepen my sorrow until I was drowning in my own unhappiness. I would never recover from this. I knew that for sure. I would never be able to move on from Louis. And every rehearsal, recording and performance would be hell too. Because I’d be so close to the boy I loved, but I wouldn’t be able to do anything about my grief. It would be like torture. We would be separated but always together.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry’s POV:

It’d been exactly a week since Louis had left. Almost to the minute. I hadn’t even attempted to leave the apartment yet. The boys had tried to get in to see me but I kept the door firmly locked and bolted. There was no way I was seeing anyone.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My empty lifeless eyes stared back at me, shadowed by dark, ugly bags from my lack of sleep. I hadn’t slept a wink since the night before he left. I hadn’t eaten either and I could feel that I was loosing weight. In fact, the bathroom was the furthest I’d moved from the sofa. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything, because everything reminded me of him. I was going crazy with grief. I hadn’t spoken to anyone. My phone was kept on, but I rejected everyone’s calls and deleted their texts. It was only on in the hope of a text from Louis. Just a text. That’s all I wanted. Or a call. Just to hear his voice. I called him everyday but he never answered. I’d left him countless voicemails, each one more desperate than the last. But besides that, I hadn’t spoken at all.

Almost on cue, the knocking began. The boys knocked countless times everyday in an attempt to get me to open the door. I knew they’d cancelled all interviews and appearances, having given the excuse that Louis and I were both ill. I’d been on twitter earlier on in the week and I’d seen the fans’ reactions. After the initial sympathies it’d clicked that we were supposedly ill at the same time, which had spurred countless Larry Stylinson tweets. Looking at them had made me miss Louis even more and I’d thrown the laptop against the wall. I hadn’t tried to look again on my phone because I didn’t want to break that too. That would put a stop to the calls to Louis. That would mean Louis couldn’t call me.

_Not that he would anyway._

That thought broke my resolve. All my carefully built defences fell away and I all but ran to the front door. I unlocked it with shaking hands and pulled it open to be pulled into a tight hug by Liam, Zayn and Niall.

“Have you… have you heard from him?” my voice broke on the last word and the arms that were wrapped firmly around my shoulders tightened comfortingly.

“Yes we have, Harry. He’s doing okay. He asked after you.” Liam said softly.

“He did?” I asked. I pulled away and looked at each of them hopefully. Liam nodded. “Will he be coming back? Just for a visit, I mean.” I enquired optimistically.

“I don’t know Harry. I don’t know if that would be good for you. I think that we should wait a while. Give you some time to… adjust.”

Suddenly, I was seeing red.

“What? No, no, no, no, no, no no, NO! You can’t just, you can’t just stop me seeing him, Liam! You’ve got no right to do that! I _need_ to see him Liam. You just don’t understand. I don’t care about anything else. I just need to see his face. I just need to hear him. Is that too much to ask? Is it? Please Liam!” The fury turned to distress as I fell to my knees and began sobbing uncontrollably. As if they were magnets, the boys – no, that wasn’t right without Louis – Liam, Zayn and Niall dropped to their knees surrounding me.

“Harry. I’m only thinking of you. You’ll fall apart when he has to leave again, you know that as well as I do. You need time to rebuild your strength. This isn’t the end, you know. We’ll still see him.”

“No we won’t.” My mind was beyond all reasonable thought now as my misery consumed me. “He’s gone. We’re never going to see him again. He’s got a family now. He won’t want us around. He won’t be back. He won’t want to see us. He won’t want to see me. I’m just the pathetic ex-boyfriend who sends him desperate voicemails. He won’t want anything to do with me. He probably hates me. He’s probably glad he’s got an excuse to leave; an excuse to get rid of me. He’s…”

“Harry!” Niall snapped, speaking for the first time. “For God’s sake, stop it! Can’t you see what you’re doing to yourself? That’s all rubbish and you know it!” his voice softened suddenly. “Deep down, you do know it. It’s just hidden with the Harry that I know: the Harry that wouldn’t let something that means this much to him just slip away.”

A slow smile crept onto my face. It was the first genuine smile in God knows how long.

“Thank you Niall.” I whispered.

“That’s okay Harry. Here, take this.” He handed me his phone and I knew what he was offering me. He knew that Louis wouldn’t answer my calls but he would answer his. I took it and stood up unsteadily, briefly looking at the others’ reactions. Liam was shaking his head slightly and I knew that he didn’t think it was a good idea. Zayn’s face was expressionless and he still hadn’t said a word. It made me suspicious, as if he were hiding something. I turned away and found Louis’ number on Niall’s phone. Hesitating slightly, I pressed the green call button and held it to my ear, retreating to my bedroom.

“Hey Nialler, what’s up?” I heard him say. His voice seemed cheery on the surface, but I could sense the misery in it.

“Louis?” I whispered, unable to form any other word than his name.

“H-H-Harry? Harry is that you?” His broken voice replied.

“It is. I’ve missed you so much Louis. I can’t live without y…”

“Don’t. Don’t say that, please. I don’t think I can take it. You can’t need me, Harry. You deserve better. So much better. I’m surprised you don’t hate me. _I_ hate me. Why don’t you hate me Harry?” he sounded so confused, so depressed, so scared.

“Because I love you.” I replied simply, to be met by a small gasp. “You already knew that though. Why are you so surprised?”

“I left you. I just left. I broke your heart and then left. I didn’t reply to any of your texts. I never called you back. I’m a coward, Harry. A self-centred coward. How could you still love me? How could anyone still love me?”

“Self-centred? You think you’re self-centred?” I could’ve laughed at the irony. “You’re anything but, Louis. You did all this for the sake of your son. You didn’t have to. You could’ve pretended he didn’t exist. Sent some money. Stayed here with, with me. Most guys your age would’ve done. But you didn’t. You put everyone else before yourself. You are definitely not self-centred. If either one of us is though, it’s me.”

“Why? Harry that can’t be true. You’re the most selfless person I know.”

“No I’m not. I haven’t left my room since you left. I smashed my laptop up because I saw Larry Stylinson tweets. I’ve ignored everyone and focused on how miserable I am. And now I’m telling you all this and you’re going to worry as you always do and I shouldn’t have because I want you to be happy. But I’m selfish enough to break down every five minutes because I want you to be happy with _me_. I feel sick every time I think of you with her.”

“Harry.” He whispered. I could hear that he was crying, as was I. “Harry I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry.”

“Stop apologising. Please, Louis. Don’t apologise for doing the right thing. I’ll get by. As long as you don’t forget me I can pull through.”

“I could never forget you. Be happy. Just try to be happy. For me? That’s all I want for you. To move past this and try to be happy without me. But I have to go now, Harry. I’m really sorry but this is goodbye.”  
”Goodbye? Don’t say that. That sounds too definite. We can talk on the phone sometimes, and I’ll see again. Its not goodbye.”

“This is goodbye.” He repeated. “I’m sorry Harry. But I’m not coming back. You won’t see me again. You won’t hear from me again either. One Direction just has four members now. You can all pretend that I never existed. It’s better this way. Just, just tell Liam to loosen up a bit and let his hair down every once in a while. Tell Niall that Nandos doesn’t actually rely on him to stay open. Tell Zayn to smile in photographs more. He always looks better when he smiles. Tell them all that I’m sorry and that I’ll always love them. But just remember this: I’ll always love you more. My heart will always belong to you. Never forget that. Remember me occasionally because you’ll constantly be on my mind. But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be near you but not with you. And I know you. I know that you won’t care. You’ll do anything to spend time with me. Even though it’ll kill you that I’m not with you. Even though you know you’ll break again when I leave. I can’t let you do that. This is better for you. I promise. I love you Harry. I’m sorry. Good bye.”

“Don’t do this.” I whispered brokenly. “Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything. Don’t leave me all alone. I can’t be happy without you. I need you. I love you. Don’t make this goodbye. Please.”

“I’m sorry. Goodbye Harry.” Those words again. Those words had shattered my heart twice. The line disconnected. Just like that, he was gone. Just like that, I was alone. All alone. And heartbroken.


	14. Chapter 14

Louis’ POV:

“Don’t do this. Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything. Don’t leave me all alone. I can’t be happy without you. I need you. I love you. Don’t make this goodbye. Please.” I heard his broken voice plead with me. I struggled to control my emotions and not give in, as much as I wanted to. In truth, I wanted nothing more than to tell him that I was joking and that I was coming straight home to him. But I couldn’t. I had to do what was best for everyone. He would be better off without me in the long run. He’d be happier eventually.

Maybe if I told myself that enough I might start to believe it.

Just as I’d done last week, I forced myself to shut down and not listen to his pleas. An almost identical reply as the one I had given him last week escaped from my tear-soaked lips.

“I’m sorry. Goodbye Harry.” I hung up, crushed by the knowledge that I might never hear that beautiful voice again.

I threw the phone carelessly onto my bed behind me and hid my face in my hands. In my mind an image of Harry’s face as I’d last seen him, kneeling broken on the floor, overwhelmed me. It killed me that it was me that had hurt him. Usually I was the source of his relief from pain, the hurt wasn’t supposed to stem from me. The guilt of what I’d done would never leave me, I was sure.

My tears soaked my hands and face as I wept hopelessly. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t what I did. I stayed strong. I stayed strong for the people around me and I kept a smile firmly plastered to my face, no matter what. I didn’t hurt people I loved and then leave them all alone. And I certainly didn’t sit on my bed in my room crying in the darkness wallowing in my own misery. That had always been Harry’s department.

How on Earth was I going to cope without him?

Another picture unexpectedly invaded my mind, attacking me as if someone had actually thrown a knife into my heart. I saw Harry sat in his room, in a similar position to the one in which I was sat now. He stared at his phone desperately, tears dripping from his chin into his lap. The realisation that this was probably close to the exact state that Harry was currently in as a result of my actions pushed me over the edge, and I fell down onto the bed, turned over and buried my head in my pillow to muffle the mounting sobs.

I sat up an age later as I heard the key turn in the lock and the front door open. I turned on the bedside light and stood up, heading for the mirror. I must’ve been asleep for a while, as the redness around my eyes had died down and it was virtually impossible to tell that I’d been crying.

“Louis? Are you awake, Babe?” I heard her call. I winced at the use of the word ‘babe’. It implied a relationship or mutual love between us that simply didn’t exist.

“Yer I’m here.” I called back as politely as possible and stepped out into the living room. I leant over the pram and lifted out my little son, Edward, and held him close. “How’s he been?” I asked her as I gazed lovingly at him. His big blue eyes looked back at me and he smiled a gummy smile that he only ever directed at me. He was the only thing I had now and he meant so much to me.

“Yer he was fine.” She said carelessly, her eyes fixed on me, ignoring her son.

It hadn’t taken me long to work out where Isabel’s priorities lay. She wanted me back. That much was clear. She wasn’t content to have me back in her life, she wanted a relationship. It was clear that she didn’t really care about Edward, he was merely a way to get me back as far as she was concerned. And I’d have to grin and bear it in order to secure a future for my son. I knew that leaving with him was not an option as she would never allow me custody. She would make it close to impossible for me to leave.

“I’m going out with Jess tonight, you want to join us babe?” She invited, winking at me and making me feel slightly sick. Winking was something I did with Harry, it felt wrong for someone else to wink at me like that.

“What about Edward?” I asked.

“What about him?” Her face became confused. I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes.

“Who would look after him if we both went out? I’m tired anyway Isabel. I’ll stay in tonight.”

“Aw c’mon Boo. You used to be so much fun!” She pouted as I stopped myself from slapping that flirty smile from her face. I gritted my teeth. I hated that nickname as it was and wished that Mum had never come up with it. But I could handle my family and the boys using it every so often. I even quite liked it when it was being used by Harry. And it was even quite lovely to hear the fans calling me that. It added a touch of familiarity to it all and backed up the feeling we’d always had of being in an amazing One Direction family with them all. But when she used it I became angry. She had no right. She didn’t mean anything to me and my patience was wearing thin.

“Well I’ve grown up since then, Isabel.” I said shortly.

“Well whatever Lou. I’m off, see you later!” She smiled and kissed me on the cheek and skipped out of the door, picking up her bag on the way out without even acknowledging her son. I watched her go and then walked into my room and picked up my phone before heading back into the living room and sitting down on the sofa, Edward still in my arms. It was time to think of other people before myself and stop hiding away in this flat.

*5 new messages*

_Liam Payne:_

_Louis, Harry told us what you said on the phone. Don’t jump into this too quickly. There has to be a compromise. Can you call me please when you have a moment? For Harry’s sake if no-one else’s. We’re here for you mate. X_

_Zayn Malik:_

_Louis what are you thinking? One Direction can’t work without you mate! And can you tweet something too? The fans are getting worried – nobody’s heard from you or Harry all week. Oh, and Liam says call him X_

_Niall Horan:_

_What do you mean Nandos won’t go bust without me? Of course it will! ;) C’mon mate your little leprechaun’s worried sick! The band won’t be right without you! Xx_

_Mum:_

_Just had a call from Liam. Call me, Boo. You need to think about this. Love you lots, the girls send their love too. Xxx_

_Harry Styles:_

_I don’t know why I’m sending you this. It’s not like you’ll reply. I just guess I wanted you to know that I’ll always love you and I’ll never get over you. Please come back to me. I’ll be a better boyfriend, I promise. And I’ll never drink again. I can’t live without you Louis .xxxx_

My breath hitched at the last message, a tear running down my cheek. I fought to put it at the back of my mind and worked through the rest of the messages. At Zayn’s request, I opened up twitter and stared at the screen wondering what to write. Finally inspiration came to me.

_@Louis_Tomlinson: hey guys! Have been ill this week but feeling much better now. Sorry for all the cancellations and thank you for all your support Xx_

I hated lying to the fans but I knew that I couldn’t tell them anything without having spoken to Management.

Next on my list was a call to Mum. I had to explain everything to her and get her opinion. She always knew what the right thing to do was. I just hoped that this time wasn’t an exception. I needed her more than I ever had before.


	15. Chapter 15

Liam’s POV:

I sat at my breakfast table with Niall, Zayn and Harry drinking tea. Niall was distracting himself by dipping digestives in his tea until they nearly became so soggy that they fell to pieces at which point he ate them and started the whole process all over again. That was until Zayn, who was fiddling with a bracelet on his arm, looked up mournfully at him.

“Louis would have a go at you for ruining a ‘perfectly good cup of tea’ you know?”

My head snapped up in unison with those of Harry and Niall as we stared at him. Nobody had mentioned Louis in front of Harry. I gave him a fierce look and kicked him under the table, trying to tell him silently to shut up. Niall’s face looked slightly hurt and he quickly ate the remainder of his biscuit before twisting the end of the packet and pushing it as far away from him as possible and wrapping his hands firmly around his cup, looking into the tea as if it was going to give him the answers to all our problems. Harry was frozen, staring at Zayn with his mouth slightly open so I could clearly see his bottom lip quiver. His hands were also wrapped around his cup, so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. He closed his eyes and took three deep breaths before opening them wide again and standing up, trying out a smile. It quickly faded. He just couldn’t see the point in smiling anymore.

“I’m just going to…I think I’m going to get some sleep.” He said softly. I stood up too and saw him to the door. I pulled him into a hug as he went to leave.

“If you…if you get upset, call me. Or come over or something. Don’t just lie there by yourself. Promise me?” He nodded in reply and pulled back, wiping a stray tear from the corner of his eye.

“Thank you.” He mouthed before disappearing down the corridor.

I turned around and sat back down again, turning back to face Zayn.

“What were you thinking? I thought we’d agreed not to mention him in front of Harry. We don’t want to make this any harder than it already is for him.”

“You think I’m not hurting too?” Zayn exclaimed, standing up so suddenly that his chair nearly tipped over until he steadied it with his hand. “You think Harry’s the only one upset because Louis just _left_? At least he got a goodbye, Liam. We didn’t even get to say goodbye.” His voice travelled through anger to a deadly cynical tone that Zayn only used in serious situations. I flinched at the sound of it. But even Zayn, who was always so strong, even Zayn’s voice cracked slightly as he muttered his last sentence. But that wasn’t the point.

“No, no I don’t think that!” I yelled, standing up to face him and loosing my cool. “Because I feel the same. I feel the fucking same Zayn I just have the decency to be sensible about it. You think I’m not hurt that Louis didn’t say goodbye? You think I can deal with this and not care? Because if you do then you obviously don’t know me like I thought you did! They’re in love, Zayn! What don’t you understand about that? It’s different. It’s not as if you’re in love with him, is it? How would you feel – in his position? The love of your life has just upped and left you. How would you react? It’s just a little bit worse, isn’t it? Or can you only think of yourself? Are you really as vain as people say you are?” I spat at him. As I finished the final word I felt a sharp pain as something hit my face. My hands flew to my cheek and I stared incredulously as I took in that one of my best friends had just slapped me across the face, hard. He’d put all of my strength into that and the result was an intense pain that overwhelmed me momentarily. After a frozen minute of two where time itself seemed to stop I dropped my hands back to my sides and clenched my fists. I was seeing red.

“How fucking dare you?”

“Me? Me? What about you? You know! You know I hate it that people think I’m vain. Bet you’d never play on your fucking precious Harry’s weaknesses would you? Oh no, not baby Harry. Nobody is allowed to hurt poor little Harry. He can’t see tweets about him or hear anything remotely negative. Not poor sensitive Harry. Well, maybe he should wake the hell up and be introduced to real world. Why should Harry get everything when I have to face all my problems alone? Why does he get all the support but nobody gives a shit about me? No, I’m not in love with Louis. But I…he used to be…but this has changed him and… I still have feelings…” My eyes were wide open in shock as Zayn sobbed through what sounded like a confession of some sort and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

“Whoa.” A small voice muttered from the table. My head turned in response to the sound and a smile crossed my face. I’d forgotten Niall was there. “Do you want me to talk to him?” He asked, looking up at me. For the first time I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the tired look that shadowed his whole face. I reached my hand out and ran my finger across one of the circles. I was surprised when it came away wet. I held out my hand for him and he took it, allowing me to pull him out of the chair. He hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear.

“I miss him, Li. And I don’t like it when you guys fight.” I smiled sadly to myself. I felt really guilty. I’d forgotten how vulnerable Niall could be.

“It’ll be okay, Niall.” I whispered back. “You’ll see. It’ll all work out. I miss him too. We all do. And it just got too much. We won’t fight again – honest.”

“Thanks Liam. Is your face okay?” he tilted his head up so that he could take a look.

“I’ll survive. Listen, I’m going to go and talk to Zayn. You gonna be okay?”

“Yep. See you later!” he gave me the widest grin I’d seen in a fortnight and hurried off to his apartment. I followed him out, headed for Zayn’s.

 

Zayn’s POV:

I shouldn’t have hit him. That was stupid. But he just made me so angry. The tears were falling like sheets of rain now. But, in the privacy of my own room, I couldn’t bring myself to care. I heard a door creak open and watched as Liam’s face appeared around it. His cheek was red and he had a cheerless smile on his face. I tried desperately to wipe my face and eyes so that he wouldn’t realise I’d been crying, but I knew that it wasn’t working.

“Don’t worry.” He said as he sat down opposite on my bed. “I’m not going to judge for crying. There have been so many tears shed recently…” His statement petered out as he stopped himself from mentioning Louis. “Listen, Zayn. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. I know how you feel about that but it was just in the heat of the moment, you know?”

I nodded. “Sorry about your face, Liam.” I added.

“I kind of deserved it. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. Just now, when you said you didn’t love Louis but something that changed someone and you still had feelings for him, who were you talking about?  Won’t tell anyone. This won’t go past this room, I swear.”

I gulped. Why had I said anything? As if handling his rejection hadn’t been enough, I was now going to get sympathetic looks every time I was in the same room as him. Great.

“Harry.” I said simply, not trusting myself to say anymore. I could already see the shock on Liam’s face.

“But, I thought, what about what you said at mine?” He finally stuttered after we had stared at each other for almost a minute in absolute silence.

“I was frustrated. I just. It’s just that I feel like people assume that I’m okay so they don’t think before they say stuff to me. And I just think, I have feelings too. I’m not a robot either. You four have always been there for each other, and then there’s me by myself.”

“That’s not true. If you’d’ve said something we all would’ve been right there. You just always seem so calm. You’re better at concealing your emotions than we are. It makes it harder to know when something’s wrong. I’m always here you know? I’m always here if you need to talk.”

 

Liam’s POV:

I could see him welling up and put a supportive hand on his knee. Everything was slowly clicking into place. Memories of when Louis and Harry first told us about them came back to me. Particularly Zayn’s reaction. At the time, I’d just thought Zayn was creeped out by it; it had never occurred to me that he might have feelings for Harry. This must’ve been torture for him. He bit his lip slightly and shook his head with tiny movements.

“The thing is I thought I was getting over it. I was almost getting used to seeing them together. But, I was so disappointed when he cheated. Like, I felt as if this wasn’t the Harry I’d fallen for. It made it easier in a way, as if the Harry I like in a way I shouldn’t didn’t exist anymore so the problem wasn’t there anymore either. But when Louis…left…when Harry lost it…I saw him again. I saw the real Harry again. And it killed me to see him hurt like that. But I didn’t feel like I could do anything about it. I didn’t feel as if he’d want to see me.”

“Does he, does he know?” I asked carefully. I got a nod in reply as he furiously blinked back tears.

“I told him after that meeting with Simon. That’s why we got back in the car later. I told him but he said that he already knew. He said he’d seen it in my eyes. But then, but then he just said ‘sorry mate’ and left. He almost ran. He almost ran away from me. I felt so useless. He couldn’t even bear to be in the same room as me!” Zayn had forgotten to stop his tears now and it looked as though he’d torn down every wall to me now. I reached over and pulled him into a comforting hug. There was nothing I could say to make this better, but I could be there for my best friend when he needed me.

Behind me, I heard Zayn’s bedroom door open and close and footsteps drew closer until I saw Niall out of the corner of my eye. He had tears flowing down my cheeks. I pulled one arm away from Zayn and extended to him in as an invitation to join us. Zayn looked up and gave Niall a small smile and he joined us on the bed. We pulled away and sat in a tight triangle just looking at each other. I saw Zayn’s eyes widen then look down and I turned to see what he’d been looking at. It was Harry standing in the doorway, having managed to open the door silently. I beckoned him over and shuffled over to make room between Niall and me as I knew that Zayn wouldn’t appreciate having to sit next to him.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He whispered sadly as he sat down. I knew that probably roughly translated as ‘I’ve been crying in my room since I left and I just need to see a friendly face so please don’t bring up the fact that my eyes are red and my cheeks are wet please’. I let it drop and looked around at our little group. I took in the destroyed faces of each of my best friends and my eyes fell on a person-sized gap between Niall and Zayn. Instinctually, a gap had been left for the fifth member of One Direction. I wondered if he knew what a mess he’d left behind back home. He hadn’t called me back although I never gave up hope. I would never give up hope. As soon as I spoke to him I would convince him to come back to where he belonged. And, without a doubt, Louis belonged here: with One Direction, with us and with Harry.


	16. Chapter 16

Louis’ POV:

Another slow and tedious week crept past at a snail’s pace and I still hadn’t got up the courage to call Liam. He’d kept calling me and calling me but I couldn’t bring myself to answer him. I was supposed to have remained detached from the boys to make it easier for everyone. That was the excuse I kept telling myself. But, in reality, I knew that the real reason was that I was scared to hear about what state Harry was in. Terrified, even. I didn’t want to hear about how bad he was doing. I wanted to believe that he was doing fine and getting on with life. I somehow thought that if I left them for a while they’d give up and get over me. But I had to face the truth that that probably wasn’t going to happen and my resolve only crumbled further every time the phone rang and one of the boys’ names came up on my Caller ID.

It was ringing again.

The last of my resistance fell away suddenly and I impulsively picked up the phone.

“Louis?” A surprised and tired Liam asked from the other end of the phone, his voice quiet. “Oh my God, Lou! Niall, can you take Harry out for a bit – try and get him to eat something?” He said more loudly and spiritedly, obviously giving Niall instructions with his head leant away from the phone as his voice became more distant.

“Okay, come on Harry. Let’s go.” Niall sounded dejected and lifeless. He didn’t even have the enthusiasm to eat.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” A flat voice enquired. My breath hitched at the sound of his voice, I’d forgotten just how beautiful it was. It was still breathtaking, even though it was dead and hopeless. Even though it was dead and hopeless because of me.

“He’s not stupid, Liam. He’s not deaf either. You can’t just expect him to go out if that dickhead has finally decided to be decent enough to call” Zayn argued, sounding vaguely angry and depressed. I flinched at the insult but wasn’t particularly surprised. I knew I deserved it. In fact, I deserved worse.

“Okay then, well in that case I’m going to go to mine. I need to talk to him alone. Try to eat something, Harry. Please?” Liam said, defeated. I didn’t catch Harry’s reply as I heard footsteps and a door opening and closing twice. “What took you so long, Louis? Why did it take you three weeks? Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving?”

I sat back into the sofa.

“I thought it would be better this way.” I said quietly. “I thought that you might get on with it all without me if there was less fuss. I thought you might be able to carry on without me.”

“Are you really that stupid?” he spat. “Did you really think that Harry would get over you that easily? Or any of us for that matter? Or did you not care enough to think of that? Were you too busy with you new life? Did you not think about the fact that I would have to pick up the pieces? Me. Whilst Niall’s upset because he misses you; because he thought of you as an elder brother and he can’t understand why you would just leave like this. Whilst Zayn shuts down because he misses you too and it breaks him to see how badly Harry’s reacted and takes out his anger on everyone else. Whilst Harry, the boy you supposedly loved, just sits there, day in and day out, staring at the wall, crying and refusing to eat, ignoring everyone. We can’t even mention your name. Even the sound of your name tears him apart. He’s broken Louis, and you broke him. And I miss you too, Lou. It’s not the same without you around. We’re all lost without you but someone has to be strong about it. And surprise, surprise it’s me. What were you thinking? What are you thinking?” His voice was acidic and bitter.

“I still love him.” Was the only thing I could think to say. My voice cracked.

“Well you have a funny way of showing it. Is she that important?”

“No!” I almost shouted. “No, not at all. She’s horrible. I can’t stand her.”

“Then why are you still there? What are you doing?” He became confused.

“Him.” I simply whispered. I heard a cry from the bedroom and tucked the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I stood up and walked towards the sound. I stifled a yawn as I picked him up and held him close until he stopped crying. “He’s my son, Liam. He’s so beautiful. I love him and I can’t leave him with her.” I carried him into the kitchen and begun to mix up some formula milk and microwave it. I had become a master of multi-tasking over the past three weeks and continued to talk to Liam as I did so. “He’s only a tool to get to me as far as she’s concerned.”

Liam sighed down the phone.

“Then come back down here and bring him with you.” He told me as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Don’t you think I want to?” I raise my voice slightly. “She’d never let me leave with him. She knows I’ll never leave him and she’ll never give me custody so that I can leave her. I’m stuck here. I tried talking to her about all of us moving down to London, but she won’t leave her friends. She wants me all to herself.” I sat back down on the sofa, watching as Edward sucked on his bottle hungrily.

In the background, I heard a door crash open and started suddenly, dropping the bottle on the floor.

“Harry!” Liam exclaimed. I froze halfway to picking it up, watching as the milk spilled over the carpet in horror. What was Harry doing?

“Give me the phone. Let me talk to him.” Harry said darkly. My heart began to beat faster. I couldn’t talk to him. If I did, I may as well give up now and go home. I wouldn’t be able to stay strong through another conversation with him. The last one had practically been torture.

“Liam! No!” I yelled through the phone so that I knew that Harry would be able to hear as I jumped up, hurried back to my room and put Edward in his cot before going back to the sofa. “Liam I swear to God if you give him that phone I’m hanging up and you will _never_ hear from me again.” I threatened in panic as I ran. “I refuse to talk to him. I’ve moved on, Liam. I’ve got a new life now and he isn’t part of it.” I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to convince all three of us. Within a few seconds the door slammed shut and Liam hissed at me down the phone.

“What was that about? You know he heard that right? Why would you lie like that?” He was fuming. One of three had believed it, which was better than I’d expected.

“I know, Liam. I know. I promised I’d never do that but I’ve tried everything else. I can’t have him pining over me. And if that means I have to make him hate me enough to never want to come back, then so be it. I don’t want this, because it means there is no way back, but I want him to move on from me. I thought he’d have given up by now. He deserves better than me. He deserves someone who won’t hurt him like I’m hurting him.”

“He’s never going to give up. You may as well just accept that now. He could never hate you either. That’s impossible for him because he can’t hate someone if you love them that much. And maybe you’re right. Maybe he does deserve someone who won’t hurt him like this. But that could still be you. If you come back into his life then that could still be you. But you can’t just avoid him for the rest of your life or hurl abuse down the phone in some twisted attempt to make him get over you because it is never going to work. Right, I’m going to go and find Harry and make sure he’s okay. Again. But I’ll call you at some point soon. And if you need anything, don’t be a stranger. Call me and I can help you. We can make it through this. We can all get through this and come out the other side back as One Direction. Don’t ignore your calls though, please? If nothing else.”

“I won’t ignore your calls. But I’m not promising anything more. Bye Liam. Talk soon.” I was fighting back tears.

“Bye Lou.” He whispered.

I put the phone down and threw it onto the other side of the sofa before curling up in a ball, my chin resting on my knees as I cried. I couldn’t possibly keep this up. More than anything I wanted to go home and pull Harry into my arms and tell him that I’m never going to leave him again. But I didn’t know how I could pull that off and keep that promise now that Edward was in my life.

I heard a key turn in the lock, dragged a shaky hand across my face to wipe away the tears and knelt down to pick up the bottle from the floor, placing it on the coffee table. I turned to the door and watched as Isabel walked in, her eyes searching the flat before falling on me. She kicked the door shut and walked over to me, moving my phone before sitting down.

“Was that the boys?” She asked tenderly.

“Liam.” I muttered.

“Do you miss them?” I nodded.

“You don’t love me, do you?” She asked bluntly and out of nowhere, looking me straight in the eye.

“I can’t lie to you, Isabel. No, I’m sorry but I don’t. Why do you ask?” Why did I feel so guilty? Wasn’t this what I wanted?

“Then this is all fake, isn’t it? Listen, I’ve been thinking this over. I know you love Edward; I can see it in your eyes. If you want me to I will give you custody of him and you can take him back to London. I don’t want to keep you here if you don’t want to be. I think we both deserve to be in a relationship with love on both sides. Go back to Harry.”

My eyes widened in shock. For a minute or two, I couldn’t speak.

“Really? Thank you so much, Isabel. Thank you. But, what did you mean about Harry?” I calmed down enough to remember that nobody was supposed to know about me and Harry. She raised her eyebrow.

“Seriously, Lou? I’m friends with enough One Direction fans to have seen the pictures and Tumblr posts about Larry Stylinson. And looking at your face every time his name is mentioned kind of gives it away. You love him, don’t you?” I looked down as I felt my cheeks flush and nodded. “Then go get him!” She said.

“Thank you so much, Isabel. We’ll keep in touch, yeah? You can still see Edward whenever you like.” I offered. She seemed so much nicer when she wasn’t being possessive. I was suddenly reminded of why I’d been with her in the first place.

“I’d like that.” She smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”


	17. Chapter 17

Harry’s POV:

“Harry?” Liam called from the other side of the door. I ignored him and continued to wallow in self pity. Once again I had retreated to my dark bedroom but this time I had locked the door. I didn’t want people to see me fall apart like this. My mind was full of Louis’ harsh words. My heart had shattered into a million tiny pieces as I lay broken on my bed. And now Liam wanted to interrupt my misery – just like I knew he would. The door rattled. “Harry, open the door.” I made no attempt to reply, covering my mouth with my pillow to muffle my sobs. “Harry if you don’t open the door within the next five seconds I’m kicking it down.” There was a threat in his voice, but it sounded empty and I only half believed that he would actually do it.

“Go ahead. You can send Louis the bill. Maybe you could send him a note asking him for my heart back whilst you’re there.” I sobbed, failing to drip sarcasm into my voice.

“Haz.” He said softly. “Harry please it’s killing me to see you like this. Let me in.”

“It’s killing _you_?” I asked sourly. “What about me?”

“Harry open the damn door. I’ve got something I need to tell you.” He sighed despairingly, sick of my wallowing. He had me though. He knew how curious I could be and that I wouldn’t be able to leave it once the seed had been sewn in my head.

“What?” I asked after a moment’s pause.

“I’m not telling you unless you open this darn door.” He replied craftily and I could practically hear his smile. With a heavy sigh I slid off my bed and unlocked the door, pulling it hesitantly open. Liam flicked the light on and strode straight past me, leaving me to shut the door myself, and sat on my bed. Against my better judgement, I joined him and sat opposite, waiting patiently for him to tell me whatever he had deemed so crucial for me to know. “I’m not sure if I should be telling you this. In fact I know I shouldn’t be. But I can’t have you falling like this. It’s about Lou…”

“Is that what this is about?” I muttered bitterly. “What? What is it? I’m better off without him? I deserve more? Forget him? What? What bullshit are you going to try to fob me off with?” I felt my voice gaining volume and ferocity with every word.

“No.” Liam’s tone remained soft. “No it’s not that. I just wanted to tell you that he was lying.”

“What?” I was caught off guard by this and my voice became a combination between surprised and hurt as the volume of it dropped again. “Why would he…why would he do that?” Then realization dawned. I remembered what he’d said to me the last time I’d seen him:

_“I had planned on telling you a load of lies about not loving you anymore so that you could hate me and make it easier for me to leave.”_

That’s what he was doing. Everything else he’d tried to get to move on had failed and he was becoming desperate.

“He wants me to hate him.” I whispered softly to myself. Liam only nodded.

“He wanted you to give up on him and move on. He was only thinking of you. He’s beyond all rational thought. He’s forgotten that it’d never work on you.”

“Does this mean…” I began, only to be interrupted by Liam. He took it out of his pocket and glanced at the caller ID before his eyes widened. I leant over and mine widened too as I saw the five letters on the screen.

Liam held out a finger to me, silently warning me not to say a word, and then cleared his throat and pressed the green button, holding his phone to his ear.

“Lou? What’s up?” I faintly heard Louis talk on the other end, but judged the conversation mostly on Liam’s reaction. He stood up and his hand flew to his mouth. “What? Seriously? Well that’s…that’s great right? But he’s right here now how can I? About two foot away, why? Are you sure? He’s pretty…well you tore him up with what you said.” He flashed me a look and smiled slightly. It was the first genuine smile I’d seen in almost a month. “If you’re sure…okay, okay Lou I get it! I’ll pass you over.” He laughed and handed me the phone. I took it warily and held it uncertainly to my ear, standing and retreating to the corner of the room.

“Louis?” I breathed.

“Haz?” he replied, his voice light.

“Louis!” I grinned at the sound of his voice.

“Harry, listen. I’m sorry I really am but…” He paused and I heard a baby’s cry in the background. “Oh for God’s sake.” He muttered to himself. I heard him stand and readjust the phone before I heard footsteps and the cry become louder and then softer before fading away to gentle breathing. “Sorry. Where was I? I’m really sorry about what I said just then. I didn’t mean a word of it I was just desperate. There’s no excuse for it I know but I really hope that you can forgive me because I have something I really need to tell you. Isabel just came home, and she knows, Harry! She said she knows I love you and not her, and she’s not going to fight for me anymore because it’s not fair and we both deserve more! I’m moving back to London, Haz! I mean, it won’t be the same because I have Edward now but, but, if you want, I mean if its okay with you, if you don’t mind, maybe I could…could move back in?”

I froze, my mouth open. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t believe it. He was coming back. He was actually coming back.

“Harry? Harry are you still there? Listen, if you don’t want me to move back in with you I can find somewhere else. I understand, I’ve hurt you and I’ve got a son and…”

“Louis shut up.” I interrupted. “You don’t belong anywhere else. You’re coming back home and that’s the end of it. But I do have one question.”

“What is it Harry?”

“When do I get to see you again?”

“In the morning. Now I want you to get some sleep, okay? If what Liam’s told me is true then you need it. You sound tired too. You’ll see me in the morning. I love you.”

“I love you too. See you in the morning.” I smiled widely as I heard the line disconnect.

“Well?” Liam asked uncertainly as I turned around and gave him his phone back.

“I’m going to sleep!” I replied cheerily, and then laughed loudly at his puzzled expression.

“Just like that?” He asked me.

“Just like what?” I tilted my head to the side slightly.

“You just forgive him straight away. Even he made you hold out a while before he forgave you before.”

“I haven’t seen him in like a month. Frankly, I don’t really care as long as he’s back in my life. Plus, he’s bringing Edward with him – I’ve always like kids.”

The door opened behind me and I turned to find an exhausted looking Niall standing in the doorway.

“What the hell is going on?” He croaked, his throat dry from sleep. I catapulted forward into his surprised arms, picked him up and spun him around. He staggered slightly when I put him down. “Now I’m really confused.” He shook his head to wake himself up.

“He’s coming back, Niall! In the morning! Louis’ coming back!” I practically screamed in his ear. His covered his ears with his hands comically but beamed widely, before pulling me into a bone-crunching hug.

“What did you just say Harry?” Zayn crashed into the room, dragging me from Niall and placing a strong hand on either  shoulder, regarding me seriously. “Say that again.”

“Err... He’s coming back, Niall! In the morning! Louis’ coming back!” I repeated pretty much exactly as I had originally said it. He rolled his eyes before breaking out into one of his rare cheerful smiles.

“Is he bringing the boy with him? You have to tell me everything.” Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. I’d forgotten what a gossip Zayn was.

“I should call Management; tell them what’s going on.” Liam said, ever the sensible one.

“Yes Daddy.” I winked at him as he made to leave.

“It’s good to have you back Haz.” He said softly as he opened the door.

“Come on then!” Zayn said excitedly as both he and Niall pulled me onto the bed. “Spill the beans!”

 

Louis’ POV:

The apartment was silent as I carried Edward’s car seat into the living room. I shut the door quietly behind me and felt along the wall blindly for the light switch. But before I could, my hand touched warm skin and I took a sharp intake of breath. The hand moved and the lights came on, revealing Harry standing about a metre away from me. I set Edward down and opened my arms wide. He practically ran into them, wrapping his arms tightly around my neck as I folded mine around him. We didn’t need words to be said; just the comfort of the other’s arms was enough for both of us. We had all the time in the world to talk later, and all that needed to be said couldn’t be said when the others would be here any second. He buried himself in my neck and I begun to feel his body rack lightly with sobs as my top grew wetter. I was vaguely aware of how wet his shirt was becoming as it was soaked with my own tears, but responded in no other than to pull the fragile boy closer. I was shocked. I hadn’t imagined him to be this thin – there was almost nothing of him. I could clearly feel his ribs and shivered at the sensation. I wasn’t supposed to be able to feel them. We stood there unmoving until I heard footsteps from the other side of the room. I adjusted out positions so that we were standing alongside each other, one of each of our arms around the others waist, his head still hiding in the crook of my neck and my head resting lazily on his as we turned to face the source of the noise. Liam, Niall and Zayn stood there, smiling at us happily.

“Harry, do you want to say hello to Edward whilst I greet those three boys standing over there? Their stares are freaking me out a little bit.” I murmured in his ear.

“I’d love to. And I know, they’re such freaks. I don’t know why we put up with them.” He pulled away and flashed me that famous winning smile before kneeling down and unfastening my son, pulling him out of the seat and holding him in his arms, gazing adorably at him. I took a hesitant step forwards and held out my arms again, almost falling over as Niall crashed into me.

“Sorry mate.” I managed, tears flowing from my face.

“Never do that again.” He said fiercely in an almost childlike voice. “Never.”

“Never.” I repeated. “Promise.”

He stood back and headed over to Harry, eager to see the little one.

Liam was the next to come over to me, pulling me into him strongly. I could feel his eyelashes against my ear as he blinked wildly to hold back tears.

“You’ve been an idiot, Lou. But, if Harry’s willing to forgive you straight away then so am I. Welcome back mate.” He said thickly.

“I’m really sorry for putting you through all this.” I replied. “I know it must’ve been hard for you.” He smiled at me as he joined Harry and Niall.

Zayn walked towards me very hesitantly. He hugged me briefly, and then pulled back again. “Why?” he hissed. “Why did you have to do it like that? We would’ve all been behind you if you’d just told us. You didn’t have to break him like that. He loves you, Louis. More than you’ll ever know. And that’s hard for me. But I have to accept it because that’s never going to change. But when I see him fall apart because of you like I have had to do this past month, knowing there’s nothing I can do, it just makes it agony. He deserves more than to be messed around like this. You need to sort yourself out.” I appreciated that. I needed to be told the truth because I knew that the others wouldn’t. They’d tell me that it was okay now I was back but it wasn’t. I’d messed up. Really messed up. I needed to get my act together and treat the boy I loved the way he deserved to be treated. But I felt older now, and more mature. I appreciated Harry in a way I never had before and knew that I would never take him for granted again.

“Thanks man. I promise I’ll treat him better. I’ll never hurt him again.” I looked him straight in the eye as I promised this, and was relieved to see him smile. He pulled me into a tight hug again.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” He told me. I lead him over to the others, who were all enchanted by Edward.

“Will you guys be okay with him if go and get our stuff?” I asked. Harry looked up and handed Edward to Liam.

“I’m coming with you.” He told me, his face brooking no argument. I nodded and extended a hand which he took. As we made our way to my car, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. When we reached the car I stopped and turned him around to face me.

“I’m so sorry Harry. Really I am. I was so stupid. I’ve broken you, Haz. Just look at you.” I felt the tears prickling at the back of my eyes. “You’re so thin.” I whispered.

“I couldn’t understand it. I didn’t know why you would just cut me off like that.” His voice was as soft as mine had been. “But you’re back now. We can forget it all.”

“No, Harry. I won’t let you forgive me so quickly. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I really don’t. That’s the last thing you should be giving me.”

“Louis I don’t care. We’ve already lost more than a month together. This isn’t all your fault. I’m the one that cheated. I set this all off. I don’t want to waste anymore time with you. I want to be with you. I need to be with you to survive. Nothing else matters to me. It’s going to be us now. Just me, you and Edward. We’re a family now and I don’t care about the past.”

Suddenly, I couldn’t control myself. I lurched forward and buried my hands in his hair, crashing my lips into his. This was where we belonged. Together. And Harry was right: nothing else really mattered.


	18. Chapter 18

Liam’s POV:  
We watched in silence as Louis and Harry headed downstairs, hand in hand and staring at each other lovingly. Edward lay contently in my arms, his tiny fingers wrapped around one of my own.

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?” Niall asked.

“You know what? I think we’re going to be better than ever.” I replied, smiling at him sincerely.

At that moment the two boys came back in, each with a bag in the hand that wasn’t entwined with that of the other.

“We’ve just got the cot to get.” Louis told us distractedly. He didn’t move his gaze from Harry’s face.

“I’ll get it.” I replied, handing Louis back his son and catching his car keys before walking happily to his car. However when I arrived I was met by about twenty fans who were gathered around the car.

“Liam! Liam!” The cry went up when I was spotted and it wasn’t hard to fix a wide grin onto my face. “Is this Louis’ car?” I heard.

“Hey girls! Erm…yes. It’s Louis’ car. He’s home.” I took the folded down cot out the boot and tucked it under my arm. They all knew by now why Louis had left so there was no point hiding it.

“Is that Edward’s?” one of girls asked. I nodded in reply and said goodbye to them after some pictures. I tugged the cot up the steps and into the apartment. Once inside, Zayn took it off me and took it into Louis’ room to set it up.

“There are about 20 fans around your car, Lou. They were all asking after you.” I told him.

“Shall we all go down then?” He asked, jumping up and down like an excited child and practically dragging Harry out of the door. Zayn joined us and the three of us followed them towards the fans. Edward was still in Louis’ arms and so he came with us.

The screams grew louder as we got closer. Then, as Edward was spotted they grew hushed so as not to disturb him.

 

Louis’ POV:

It was incredible. I was standing with Harry by my side in the middle of a small crowd of fans with my son in my arms. All the girls loved him and they all said how glad they were that I was back. Harry stuck to me like glue as if he was scared that if we were separated for even an instant he would lose me again. I could see the fans looking and whispering in suspicion but I couldn’t bring myself to care enough to do anything about it.

“Harry! Louis!” I heard and swivelled my head in time with Harry’s in the direction of a red-headed girl of about fifteen standing next to us. Her blue eyes twinkled with mischief as she opened her mouth to talk to us. “You two are terrible at hiding.” She directed a very pointed look at our hands which were joined together. We stole a look at each other and he folded his arms against his chest as I brought mine up to join my other arms around Edward.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’ll have to explain. What’s your name?” Harry cracked one of his famously stunning grins which had me mesmerized and staring a fraction of a second too long. But apparently, this perceptive fan was too determined to be put off.

“I’m Eleanor. And I’m just saying – it’s really obvious that you two are together. You don’t have to admit it now. Well, I know you won’t because of Management. But all your true fans would support you all the way if you decided to come clean.” She giggled nervously.

“Well you never know, someday soon we might have to have a little twitcam and make an announcement…”

“Harry.” I said sharply, but I knew it was too late as I strange hush descended.

Liam hid his face in his hands, Zayn stared at the floor and Niall bit his lip. Every single one of the fans’ faces was directed at us, eyes and mouths wide open. “Well done, Haz.” I whispered sarcastically.

“What did you just say?” Eleanor gasped.

“If I said nothing would you believe me?” Harry asked hopefully.

“No.” she replied bluntly.

“In that case, you need to be on twitter for six o’clock tonight.” And with that, he waved to the crowds and lead me back inside.

“What was that?” I exclaimed when the door clicked shut.

“They all know. We may as well just tell them.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“But Management…”

He edged closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, whispering seductively in my ear.

“Screw management. Screw them all.”

“There’s only one person I want to screw.” I retorted cheekily.

“Since when did you get so cheesy, Lou?” He chuckled in my ear. I whimpered slightly as my chinos tightened. I pulled away and all but ran to the spare room, thankful that Zayn had already put the cot up. I lay Edward in gently and turned the light off, hurrying back to Harry. “A little excited, are we?” He took me by the hand, his thumb stroking mine, and led the way to the bedroom. I inhaled deeply as I entered and sighed as it smelled of the boy I loved.

“Don’t pretend you’re not too!” I managed as he lay me down on his bed, leaning over me.

“You’re right…” he murmured as he kissed my collarbone. “It’s been too long.” He lifted his face slightly and his eyes sparkled in the dim light as his lips captured mine. I allowed my eyes to close as he did so and rested my hands gently on his waist, enjoying the moment. I sighed contently into his mouth once again as I felt his fingers on the hair framing my face. Suddenly, his lips and hands had gone and my eyes opened in confusion to see that Harry had disappeared from view. I sat up on my elbows and broke out into a grin as I saw him kneeling at the foot of the bed untying my laces, pulling off my shoes and socks and nibbling adorably on my toes. I pulled them away and squealed as his teeth tickled me. “Too cute, Tomlinson.” He said to himself as he stood up, kicking off his shoes as he did so. His knees found their way to either side of my legs and he undid the button on my chinos. My hips instinctively bucked towards him at his touch, and he slid them down my legs and abandoned them onto the floor. His fingers walked up my chest under my top, reaching around the back and pulling me up towards him. He pulled the hem up and over my head and soon my top had joined my chinos somewhere on the floor. I mimicked his actions almost exactly so that his top was very quickly nowhere to be seen too. I leant forward and kissed him, my hands tangling themselves in his curls.

“God I missed you.” I groaned quietly.

“I’m nothing without you, Lou.” He told me sincerely. We stared at each other for a second, tears threatening in both of our eyes.

“Who’s cheesy now, Styles?” I joked to break the tension that had suddenly fallen.

“We’re both as cheesy as each other. Now, who do you want?” He pushed me back and brushed his hand deliberately against the bulge in my boxers.

“You.” I whimpered. He leant forward and took hold of my boxers with his teeth, removing the material expertly. He kissed the inside of my thigh and I felt a smile on his lips as his breathing quickened considerably.

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite hear you.” He breathed against my leg, his warm breath and the vibrations of his words against me causing an involuntary moan to escape from my mouth and a shiver to run down my spine.

“You.” I said more loudly, my voice desperately. “You, oh God Harry please. _Please_!”

He lifted his head up and winked at me before lowering it again. His tongue teased my tip and swirled downwards. One of my hands clenched the bed covers and the other tightened in his hair. I pushed my hips up, forcing me into his mouth. His head bobbed up and down as a flow of profanities and a constant repetition of his name escaped from my lips.

After a length of time that didn’t seem nearly long enough, my eyes rolled back into my head and I let out a deep moan as I came into his mouth. He pulled his lips up around my mouth, closing them around the tip and then staring me suggestively straight in the eye as he swallowed. He crawled up my body and cupped my cheeks with his hands.

“Louis? I love you.” He said sincerely, our eyes still on each other.

“I love you too.” I smiled. I glanced to the side to take note of the time. “And it’s nearly six.” I brought my gaze back to his.

“Well then, we’d better get dressed. Only I should get to see your full perfection.” I blushed, staring at his chest. I suddenly felt his breath in my ear. “And when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell. You don’t know-ow-ow, you don’t know you’re beautiful.” He sung softly in my ear.

“Shut up and kiss me, you fool.” I retorted, wishing my cheeks would die down to a lighter shade of red and feeling them flush darker as I realised how much of a girl I sounded. He kissed me quickly but then pulled away and stood up, reaching down and pulling his top over his head and throwing me my clothes.

“We can’t keep them waiting forever. Not after I tweeted a time and everything!”

“Oh you’re so organised!” I joked as I pulled my clothes on, struggling somewhat as he didn’t seem to want to let his hands leave my body. “When was this?”

“When you were putting Edward down.”

When we were both dressed, I grabbed my laptop and lay it in the middle of our laps as we sat up against a wall of cushions on the bed. I switched it on and set up the twitcam.

“Hey guys!” we said in sync as it began.

“Now,” I put my arm around Harry as I spoke. “As some of you may know and is pretty obvious now I’m back home. I just had some things I needed to sort out back home but everything’s okay now. And we spoke to some fans earlier and on the back of a conversation we had with a _very_ beautiful girl called Eleanor…”

“Oh?” Harry interrupted, raising one eyebrow jokingly.

“She was very beautiful, you can’t deny that.” I countered, grinning.

“I’m not! But...”

“Harry let me speak.” I winked at him. “Anyway, on the back of that conversation we think that there is something we ought to tell you.” I looked at Harry for reassurance. He knew what I was thinking instantly and took over.

“I know that for many of you this won’t be a shock and that there are lots of you who have been waiting for this for longer than we have. And I really hope that you will all continue to support us.” He looked at me with a smile shining from his face and took my hand in his before back into the camera, undoubtedly looking straight down the lens of the camera as he always did. “Louis and I are together.” He said simply, pressing a kiss to my cheek and watching in amusement as I blushed again. I leant forward to check the comments from the fans. They were mostly positive and there were a _lot_ of excited Larry shippers.

Liam, Zayn and Niall burst into the room with a crash. Our heads snapped up and I nearly dropped the laptop, my arm shooting out to save it at the last minute. They clambered around us grinning.

“Hey!” They greeted the fans.

“You told them then?” Liam asked.

“Don’t pretend you weren’t watching.” I laughed.

“You got us.” Niall replied, a grin stretching from ear to ear.

“You’re trending lovebirds.” Zayn said, showing us the trends list on his phone.

_#LarryStylinsonisReal_

_Larry_

_Harry_

_Louis_

_#ToldYouSo_

_#LarryTwitcam_

_#LarryKiss_

_#LarryAtLast_

_#LarrySextape_

_Baby Stylinson_

“Are you really going to insist on calling us that?” Harry asked, looking back at Zayn as I turned to the camera. Zayn simply nodded, laughing.

“I love the trends guys! Although I don’t think we’ll be making a tape…”

“You spoil my fun!” Harry flipped his hair around, hitting Niall in the face accidentally with his curls as he did so, and pouted playfully. I heard a cry from the next room.

“Talking of Baby Stylinson it looks like Edward’s up.” I handed the laptop entirely over to Harry and popped next door to retrieve him and bring him back, settling into Harry’s arms whilst my son lay in mine. “Meet Edward.” I said softly. I looked over at Harry and realised that for the first time in a long time, I was completely happy. He caught my eye and we smiled at each other as he leant forward to press a sweet kiss to my lips despite the camera focused on us and I knew that whatever happened now we’d come out the other side.

 

Harry’s POV:

I caught his eye and we smiled at each other as I leant forward to press a short kiss to his lips despite the camera focused on us. Everything I needed was right here. I was under no illusions, things would be tough, but as long as I had Louis by my side I knew I’d come out the other end alright. I loved Louis with all my heart and nothing in the world could change that. We’d both learnt from our mistakes and neither of us would ever risk the loss of the other ever again. And with that thought, I knew that we could face whatever the world threw at us. We could do it together.

 

_Because I can love you more than this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading guys! If not already, some more of my stuff will be up soon so please check it out - this was the first piece I wrote and I like to think I've improved since then soo.. ;)  
> Elena


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